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[ # ] Homosexuality and the Church
Posted by Eric Stillman on June 26th, 2007 under Unity, HomosexualityPrint This Post  Print This Post

Okay – I think it’s time to finally drop my ten foot pole and offer some thoughts on what is probably the most divisive issue among Christians today:  homosexuality.  Yes, I’m going to take a deep breath, step out into the open, and try my best not to get hit by the cross-fire.

 A couple of months ago,  I raised all sorts of questions that illustrated for me just how complex this issue is for anyone who holds to the traditional Christian understanding that homosexual behavior is against God’s will.  In case you missed it, here are just a few of the questions I was wrestling with:

- Does the Bible ever speak about mutually loving, committed homosexual relationships?
- Christians throughout history have reversed their stance on issues like slavery, interracial marriage, and the role of women; could they be wrong on this issue as well?  If there is even a chance we could be wrong, how should that affect the way we handle this issue?
- How do you teach that homosexuality is against God’s will without damaging the psyche and faith of countless of people who question their sexuality?
- How do you convince a gay person that God loves them and is worthy of worship if He will not allow them to experience a loving, committed relationship to the person they love, simply because he or she is the same sex?

I raised those questions with the intent of possibly preaching a sermon on the Bible and homosexuality at the end of the recent series on the Bible and gender roles.  In the end, however, I wasn’t convinced that Jesus dealt with “issues” like that in a public forum, but rather that he dealt with individuals in their unique situation.  Maybe I’m wrong, but I just didn’t see the wisdom in handling such a complex issue in a Sunday morning monologue.

Since that Pulse, however, I haven’t touched the issue with the proverbial ten foot pole.  So why drop the pole and risk entering the fray today?  I think the culprit is last week’s post, where I raised the issue/dilemma of Christian unity and how to take practical steps towards that in such a fractured religious landscape, for the sake of Christ’s reputation.  As I mentioned, there is no more divisive issue in Connecticut than the intersection of homosexuality and the church, with the issues including:  should a church perform civil unions; should a practicing gay man be appointed bishop of the Episcopal Church; and should the church be a champion for gay rights?  Jesus prayed that his followers would be united, so that the world would know that he is the Savior, and therefore for His reputation I think it’s worth offering a few thoughts on how we might move towards unity on this issue.  The question I ask today is this: with so much potential for heated disagreement among Christians, is there any common ground from which to stand on the issue of homosexuality?

Thankfully, I think there is, and it’s the most foundational of all Jesus’ teachings.  When Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment was, he replied, “’Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’  This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.”’ (Matthew 22:37-39).  If nothing else, this one thing should be clear, regardless of denomination or church – we are called to love homosexuals as we love ourselves.  Whether you support gay marriage or not, whether you believe in appointing an active homosexual as bishop or not, this one thing should unite – love.   

Love is an active thing.  Love is more than an emotion, but expresses itself in good deeds.  Remember in Luke’s gospel that there was a follow-up question – “And who is my neighbor?” (Luke 10:29).  Jesus responded with the famous story of the Good Samaritan, who responded to the fallen traveler by bandaging his wounds and taking him to a place of safety after two religious leaders had passed by the injured man without stopping.  I think we would be wise to consider the implications of this parable for this issue.  I am not gay, and as such am not qualified to speak with authority on the homosexual experience, but it has been my experience that most if not all homosexuals can relate to the fallen traveler in Jesus’ parable.  They know what it is like to be ridiculed, to be hurt, to feel outcast, and, sadly, to see religious people hurry by without stopping to offer care and support.  The best question to ask, therefore, is how can the church be a Good Samaritan to the homosexual community?

I believe this question needs to be thoughtfully considered, because my concern is that the evangelical church has been so concerned about fighting to preserve the traditional definition of marriage that they are often afraid to step out and love homosexuals as Jesus would, out of fear of appearing to condone homosexual behavior.  If your conviction is that marriage is between a man and a woman, then work to preserve that institution, but do not neglect Jesus’ most important commandments in the process.  After all, what good will it be if the evangelical church keeps gay couples from marrying but alienates thousands of homosexuals from God and the church in the process?

So how can the church be a Good Samaritan to the homosexual community?  One of the best books that I have read on the subject is Chad Thompson’s Loving Homosexuals as Jesus Would (with a title like that, it had better be a good book).  Thompson is a self-proclaimed “ex-gay” (an emotionally charged phrase for many) and the founder of Inqueery, an organization that addresses homosexuality on high school and college campuses.  Since Thompson has more authority to speak on this question than I do, let me share his opinion on the Good Samaritan question.  Thompson writes that in order to love like Jesus would, Christians should work towards eliminating the social and personal struggles faced by lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgendered people, whether or not they decide to change their sexual preferences/orientation.  As he writes, “I believe that loving gay people requires us to fight for their right to live outside the closet without consequence, whether or not we agree with homosexuality… Real love does not demand anything in return.” 

One of the biggest concerns in the evangelical community, as I mentioned earlier, is the fear of appearing to condone homosexual behavior.  This is probably what holds many back from actively trying to find ways to express Good Samaritan love, for there is often a belief that the best way to love homosexuals is to let them know that their behavior is sinful.  To that concern I would say:  trust me, I think by now most homosexuals know that the traditional Christian view is that homosexuality is against God’s will, and they probably don’t need you to point it out yet again.  They have no doubt struggled to reconcile that knowledge with the reality of their same-sex attraction for a long time.  I am sure it’s been the cause of lots of guilt, fear, and questioning in many homosexuals for many years.  I think that perhaps our bigger concern should be whether homosexuals know just how much God loves them, and whether the church is doing its part to communicate the radical, transformative, unconditional love of God.

I speak on this subject in many ways as an amateur who deeply desires that the church would truly love homosexuals as the Good Samaritan would, bringing the healing love of God to the places that hurt and leading them to a place of safety.  This hasn’t been meant to be a thorough treatment of a multi-faceted issue, but a simple call to reflect on what it might mean to love homosexuals as our neighbors, a foundational principle on which all Christians should agree.  If you have practical suggestions or thoughts on what it would look like for the church to be the Good Samaritan towards the homosexual community, especially if you have firsthand experience with the intersection of church and homosexuality, please post a comment.  In the spirit of this post, I would ask that your words might come from a desire for unity and neighbor-love among all Christians.


Read the Comments

[ # 664 ] Comment from Ben D. [June 27, 2007, 9:45 am]

Well said Eric!

Articluate, compassionate, and Biblical.

The trifecta…

BD

[ # 665 ] Comment from Jason Proulx [June 27, 2007, 10:39 am]

This is an issue I’m glad you’re tackling. It’s obviously a very controversial topic and no doubt a difficult one to breach these days. I think you hit the nail on the head though, expert or not. Segregating or chastising anyone based on their sexual preference is just as bad as alienating someone because of the color of their skin, gender, nationality, economic background; I could go on and on. Bottom line is this: Who are we to judge? As a community (everyone, not just Christians) we need to take a step back, take a good hard look at ourselves, and reevaluate some of our phobias and bias. Is it that wrong for one person to love another? When did love become taboo? We were given free will. With that comes a charge to be responsible with our choices, but we still have the (pardon the phrase) God given right to choose. Just because one person isn’t comfortable with the life choices of another human being doesn’t give him or her the right to chastise the other.
You mentioned the parable of the Good Samaritan. I’m sure without a doubt that people in the gay community feel like that injured man. But at the same time, when in any of our lives have we not had at least one time that we ourselves have felt like that man? Think about how it felt to be hurt, seemingly abandoned, looking and asking for help but not getting any from the people you thought would be the first to offer. How did that make you feel? Remember the pain and suffering you went through, remember how if felt to be treated so poorly by your fellow man. Another passage that pops into my head is one I believe you touched on recently: “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.” The treatment of homosexuals could very well be compared to a verbal stoning. I know I’ve got no right to throw stones, so count me as one who has long since dropped the rock and walked away. At the same time though, I’d like to think that instead of walking away I’ve done more by supporting these people’s right to choose. If we want to be Good Samaritans to these people then instead of just dropping our stones and walking away, we need to drop our stones and walk towards these brothers and sisters, embrace them, and tell them we love them regardless.
Ultimately I think it comes down to one thing: we all need to stop blinding ourselves with the overwhelming amount of differences that surround us. Isn’t that what is supposed to make this country different, the right to be unique and to choose? There is always going to be someone who is different, whether it be the clothes they wear, the way they style their hair, or who they choose to love and be with. In the end, we won’t be the ones who get to cast final judgment on them.

-J-

[ # 666 ] Comment from Eric Stillman [June 27, 2007, 12:53 pm]

Thanks for the thoughts Jason. Your last line is worth repeating; I’m pretty sure God is wise enough to judge right from wrong in the end, which I’m sure is why Jesus told us not to judge, lest we be judged by the same measure we use to judge others. If we worked a little harder on the love part and worried less about the judging part, and trusted a little more in the Holy Spirit, then maybe the world would be a better place.

[ # 670 ] Comment from Scott Francis [June 27, 2007, 2:08 pm]

The Bible is very clear on homosexuality (just as much as it is on less emotionally-charged issues, like lying, stealing, cheating, lust and heterosexual sex outside of marriage). There’s not really any question as to whether homosexuality is a sin - but there’s also not really any question as to it being any more wrong than hetero sex outside of marriage, or lusting after a woman in your heart. God’s standard is perfection, and we all fail to meet that standard in a variety of ways. Homosexuals just fail to meet the standard in an area that heteros are typically not tempted in. None of us are perfect, and before we point the finger at one type of sin we should carefully consider what Jesus had to say on that topic.

That said, I think Jason misses the point with “Is it that wrong for one person to love another? When did love become taboo? We were given free will.” Love is commanded. Sex has a number of restrictions, also commanded. Please do not confuse the two. We were given free will; that does not mean that we were given a license to sin. We certainly have all chosen to do so anyway, but that doesn’t mean that God approves of it (whether your sin is homosexuality or hetero sex outside of marriage or hating your brother or speeding or cheating on your taxes).

Our responsibility is very clearly to love unconditionally, as Jesus did, and to hold Christians in the church to the standards laid down in the Bible (see 1 Corinthians 5). When Jesus said “I bring not peace, but a sword” he wasn’t kidding. The kind of radical life that Jesus calls us to will certainly cause divisions and bring us hate from the world … but it’s neither an excuse to condone sin, nor an excuse to fail to meet our responsibility to love.

[ # 671 ] Comment from Eric Stillman [June 27, 2007, 2:45 pm]

Scott, thank you for speaking honestly and with sensitivity. I would clarify a couple of things that you said. Firstly, the Bible refers to homosexual behavior as sinful in 1 Corinthians 6:9, Romans 1:26-27, and Leviticus 18:22, but not homosexuality; being attracted to the same sex or to someone else’s wife is one thing (temptation), acting on it is another (sin). This is important because for someone who feels that they were born homosexual instead of choosing to be that way, to call homosexuality a sin can be to communicate that you are sinful in your very sexual identity no matter what you do, if that makes sense.

Secondly, I’m not so sure the Bible is “very clear on homosexuality.” I know that’s a dangerous thing to say, because it opens the doors to a lot, but there are thoughtful believers committed to Biblical authority who would argue that the Bible does not speak to mutually loving, committed homosexual relationships but only to pederasty and homosexual behavior in the context of idol worship (www.gaychristian.net/greatdebate.php is one place to get both sides of the issue, as is Via & Gagnon, Homosexuality & the Bible: Two Views). Now, this may just be wishful thinking or a refusal to submit to the truth, or there may be some merit to it. Either way, I don’t think the Bible is as clear on the mongamous, committed homosexual relationships we see today as one might believe. Having said that, it does seem from Genesis and from Jesus’ teaching that in the beginning God created them male and female with the intent of marriage being both a reflection of the image of God and His love for His people, so that must be taken into account.

In the end God will be the judge of what was right and what was wrong, and we need to make sure our priority is loving others unconditionally, no matter what our or their opinion is.

[ # 674 ] Comment from Scott Francis [June 27, 2007, 4:35 pm]

thanks very much for the link to the “great debate” - much thought will come for me as a result of reading that pair of essays. While I still hold to the traditional view, I am coming to realize that the entire question is of secondary importance in comparison with the commandment to love God and love others.

I think that even if we completely ignored everything else in the Bible but those two commands, we would silence critics, find God working His will through our lives, and display a unity of focus that the Church has not seen since the first century (if then; divisions seem to have been a part of the Church since the beginning).

Thanks for causing me to take a second look at some of my assumptions. For many Christians, the phrase “gay Christian” seems like an oxymoron; I am seeing that, regardless of background or belief, we are all sinners saved by grace, and that grace can enable anyone to turn to Christ and serve Him.

[ # 675 ] Comment from Eric Stillman [June 27, 2007, 4:43 pm]

Well said, Scott. Now comes the hard part, actually living out what we say, loving God with all our heart and loving our neighbor as ourself.

[ # 676 ] Comment from SteepleJack [June 27, 2007, 7:33 pm]

Eric…
I was struck by your phrase in your blog “whether or not we agree with homosexuality… ” How does one agree or disagree with homosexuality?
Can I agree with heterosexuality? Sexual orientation is not an exact science of either/or. Most reasonable clinical experts agree that sexual orientation is largely on a continuum where maybe 10 % are either purely heterosexual or homosexual and the rest of us fall someplace in the middle. I have to chuckle about the guy who claims to be “ex-gay” He may be choosing to be primarily heterosexual in his life now but who knows, except he and God, what he thinks and feels when that cute guy walks by. My point being, I fear you are oversimplifying the issues.

Here is something you may be able to explain to me, from the great divide of liberals/conservative. I have often heard conservative/evangelical/fundamental folks (I do know the significant differences but as opposed to liberal or dare I say open and affirming folk) quoting Lamentations about it being an abomination to God for a man to lie with a man as he would with a woman (see your own suggestion above in response to Scott). Now if you read down a few passages it also says a person mixing their fibers (poly/cotton maybe) is also an abomination to God. Yet nobody is protesting about that. If you are going to proof text and be literal, doncha have to be so with all scripture and not just pick and choose? Eric, rid yourself of those poly/cotton shirts in your closet! Come out of the closet, with 100% cotton.

What I think is often so frustrating to some folks is that Jesus and Christian Scriptures are really rather vague about sexuality and especially homosexuality (see Is the Homosexual My Neighbor http://www.amazon.com/Homosexual-Neighbor-Revised-Updated-Christian/dp/0060670789). Much of what we say we believe, we have inferred, in way or another or have hung our hats on the slimest of scriptual texts. Jesus instructed clearly…”let us love one another.” He didn’t limit the scope or the manner of that love in anyway. I prefer I guess to just sit in the vagueness. I prefer to infer a liberal, open, freeing theology that recognizes that Jesus opened his arms on the cross to embrace us all…male and female, slave and free, greek and Jew, Queer and straight. He does it without a hierarchy of sin…no one sin being worse than another. The One with no sin is a myth beyond Jesus. Gay marriage “enjoys” the same brokenness, the same sins as heterosexual marriage but in itself is no more sinful than any marraige between a man a woman.

I proudly join gay and lesbian men and women in civil union and will also do the same when marriage is legal. I fail to see how such a homosexual union minimizes, as some purport, heterosexual marriage. If ya don’t believe in gay unions, don’t enjoin yourself in one…otherwise, get out of the way of people who happen to love differently than you.

Let us all be united in the love of Jesus Christ. Thanks be to God that there is only one judge and it ain’t me or you!

[ # 677 ] Comment from Eric Stillman [June 28, 2007, 7:06 am]

SteepleJack,

Thank you for adding some important comments, insights, and questions. Let me see if I can address the issues you raised. In your first paragraph you cited the Chad Thompson quote “whether or not you agree with homosexuality.” I agree with you that he could have worded that better by saying something like “whether you think homosexual behavior is immoral or not,” since it tends to be those who think homosexual behavior is immoral who don’t just let gays live their lives without consequence. Obviously I couldn’t sum up his book in one short paragraph, so I’d ask you not to judge the book by my summary. I do think his book deals with the complexity of the issue better than most others I’ve read. He calls himself “ex-gay” but doesn’t pretend that his same-sex attraction has disappeared magically. Basically, he claims that his approach is similar to that of LGBT groups in promoting the right of the homosexual to live out of the closet without fear or discrimination, with the added wrinkle of offering the option of a type of “therapy” for those who think their same-sex attraction arises out of dysfunction and not genetics or free choice. And then he preaches unconditional love for the homosexual regardless of whether they choose to stay as they are or not. Don’t know if my summary does his book justice, but I found it to be a nice middle-of-the-road approach that respects both the choice of the homosexual to live as a homosexual (which some religious people have a problem with) and the choice to see one’s homosexual tendencies as a dysfunction (which some LGBT supporters have a problem with).

I’m also glad you raised the prooftexting issue. I did a few posts in March on that very issue (first post was “Does the Bible support slavery & spousal abuse?”), even quoting the verse you mentioned (Leviticus 19:19) about wearing two different types of woven materials (I also preached a sermon that you can find on this site on how to read Leviticus called “How to read Leviticus without dozing off or slaughtering a goat” on Dec 3rd, 2006). You’re absolutely right that many Christians pick and choose which verses apply today and which don’t without giving any thought to why. I mentioned the Leviticus passage in my reply to Scott because it is one of the few Bible texts that mention homosexual behavior, not because I think it’s necessarily a verse to hang your hat on. It was most likely a reference to homosexual behavior in the context of idol worship, not a reference to committed, monogamous relationships (which I’m pretty sure didn’t happen in the Israelite community). To answer your question regarding why some passages might apply today and others might not, there are two possible rules that might apply. One is differentiating between civil, ceremonial, and moral law, with the civil and ceremonial law applying to a system that is no longer in existence, and the moral law still applying. Of course, some argue that the “do not lie with a man as with a woman” verse is moral law, while others see it as a ceremonial law, dealing with what would make one unclean for worship in that time. A second possible rule is that if an Old Testament/Covenant command is restated in the New Testament/Covenant, then it still applies, while those that are not restated no longer apply. And since homosexual behavior in some form shows up again in 1 Corinthians 6:9 and Romans 1:21, some would say that it still applies today, while the ban on wearing two types of woven materials and other such laws no longer apply. Both those rules are man-made, so do with them what you will. But it is important to note that not everyone who quotes from Leviticus does it without thinking through their reasons. Hope that helps.

I’ve read many books and spoken with many people who come down on both sides of the “is homosexuality immoral” issue. I understand the Biblical arguments on both sides. From one perspective, God clearly created us male and female with the intent of the two sexes joining together in marriage to present a picture of God’s love for his people to the world. From the other perspective, the few Biblical verses that deal with homosexuality never speak to the committed, monogamous homosexual relationships we see today, and therefore we should celebrate that type of love. Let me say clearly that if someone doesn’t see the Bible as an authority, then they should be allowed to do what they want within the bounds of American law without me or anyone else telling them they need to obey what the Bible says. And if someone believes that God’s words are in the Bible, then they need to wrestle with what the Bible really says about sexuality & homosexuality.

Like you said, and as my post highlighted, the priority is clearly love expressing itself through good deeds. While thoughtful Christians do disagree on whether homosexual behavior is allowed by Scripture or not, or whether it’s right to try to legislate that moral viewpoint of marriage on others who disagree, we must be in agreement that loving our neighbor is not optional. Even in saying that, I know that “love your neighbor” for one means allowing gay marriage while for others it means not allowing them to do that which they believe to be immoral, but wrestling with how to live out Jesus’ command is still what should unite the church.

Thanks again for your thoughtful ideas & challenges. In the end, I agree wholeheartedly with you on your last line – thanks be to God that there is one judge, and it ain’t you or me!

[ # 679 ] Comment from Michael B [June 28, 2007, 1:05 pm]

Thank you for your courage in lifting up this subject.

A good friend of mine in college grew up in a “Bible Church.” He came out to me as a gay man in our Junior year, telling me that he could not tell his parents or anyone in his church about this because they would tell him to pray and ask God to change him so he would not burn in hell. He said, “As if I haven’t been praying that prayer desperately since I was 13!” He knew I had grown up in a “liberal church,” and while it felt therefore safe to tell me about himself, he said, “I never want to go to one of those(liberal churches) because they may be accepting, but they seem spiritually dead.” I could not argue with him on that — as it was an apt description of the chuches I had been part of in my childhood and teen years.

I think about the sadness of those choices - - a church that condemns you, or a church that accepts you, but that lacks a sense of God’s Spirit alive within and among the people. I hear Eric proposing a choice that often seems lacking - - a community of people who are seeking first the Kingdom of God (instead of seeking first legalism, or seeking first extravagant welcome, or seeking first political agendas - right or left, or seeking first to be hip or relevant) — a community of disciples who seek to live the command Jesus quotes from Deuteronomy 6 and Leviticus 19 to “Hear, O Israel” (listen to God, receive God’s presence, Word, love), and who are then empowered by God’s Spirit to love God back with the whole body and being, and to love their neighbors as themselves. I would love to be able to tell my friend about that church — I would love to be part of that church!

[ # 680 ] Comment from Eric Stillman [June 28, 2007, 1:17 pm]

God, I hope we can be that kind of church. It ain’t easy, that’s for sure.

[ # 685 ] Comment from john umland [June 29, 2007, 1:55 pm]

It seems fallacious to me that some try to deny or minimize a sin by counting the number of verses it is named. If the positive aspects of sex are emphasized (marriage, purity, picture of Christ and the church) why isn’t this enough to counter the negative aspects (out of wedlock, promiscuity, homosexuality)? Loving monogamous homosexual marriages are not a picture of Christ and the church which is a union of two others, hetero, and not two alikes, homo. A homosexual union is anti-diversity and it deprives children two gender perspectives. see http://www.gay-answers.com/

our designer, God, obviously has not physically designed us for homosexual unions. he has blessed heterosexual marriage only at creation. many Christians affirm these things, and have throughout its history. to affirm these things then go ahead and try to legislate immorality such as gay marriage is hypocritical and actions speak louder than words.

the Southern Baptists made this mistake in the early 70’s when they rejected the historic position of the church and supported abortion rights. obviously they have since repented, but they didn’t achieve anything for the kingdom while they chose to call good what God calls sin.

so what are the actions that speak louder than words? in the 90’s i worked in an AIDS clinic and tried to educate my gay friends who were taking, and still are, great risks with their health. i’ve led gay friends into a relationship with Jesus without insisting they forsake homosexuality. i know that God would convict them in due time. and he did, and they were. but i know many Christian friends, gay and straight, who then turned off God so they could resume immoral sexual relationships, gay and striaght. but i didn’t stop being their friend, nor did i try to do the Holy Spirit’s job and nag them about their lives. i know that sex is only one aspect of their lives in need of redemption. i’ve aided my gay neighbors in their times of need and my kids play with theirs. i treat gay people as people including those who show up at church. but i won’t apologize for God’s word condemning their sin because their argument is with God, not with me.
sexual sin is indeed unique, straight or gay, and is singled out in the epistles see 1 Cor 6:18 yet it is included with plenty other sins that we are called to not be deceived by in vss. 9-10. is the church called to support enabling legislation to assist adulterers, prostitutes, thieves, drunkards, slanderers or swindlers? why then would the church support legislation that enables sexual sin such as homosexuality?
we, the church need to treat gay people the same way we treat all our neighbors, with compassion, but its not compassionate to deny the call to repentance of their sins.
God is good
jpu

[ # 686 ] Comment from Eric Stillman [June 29, 2007, 3:06 pm]

John - thank you for your clearly articulated and well-thought out words. People that fight for marriage as between a man and a woman and to call homosexuals to repentance but fail to actively love their neighbor as themselves need to be reminded of the priority of neighbor love for the Christian. If your words are true, then you clearly have your priorities straight. And while it has been said over and over that God will be the judge in the end, Christians in this life wrestle not only with what the Bible says but also, as you pointed out, the conviction of the Holy Spirit.

You asked if the church is called to support enabling legislation to assist adulterers, prostitutes, thieves, etc. As I look at this list, it seems to me that adultery is something that Christians may view it as immoral but don’t try to legislate as a crime. Neither do Christians legislate homosexual behavior as a crime (the so-called anti-sodomy laws that were struck down last century). I guess the next question then when it comes to legislating morality is where civil union/gay marriage fits on the continuum of which moral issues a Christian tries to legislate and which ones are best left up to the state or federal government. Any thoughts?

[ # 690 ] Pingback from terrystorch.com | beta » Blog Archive » links 2007-06-29 [June 29, 2007, 11:22 pm]

[…] Homosexuality and the Church from The NewLife Blog by Eric Stillman […]

[ # 697 ] Comment from john umland [June 30, 2007, 10:34 am]

Hi Eric,
Thanks for your kind response. I think I’ve been somewhat misread. I was responding to the call to support legislation to legalize gay marriage which is calling an evil thing a good thing. Christians were indeed responsible for legislation criminalizing adultery, sodomy, and abortion, all of which have been decriminalized as this country’s morality has collectively declined. However, these sins have not been legally endorsed, except abortion, in the name of loving neighbors who sin in these ways.
God is good
jpu

[ # 709 ] Comment from EJ [July 1, 2007, 12:14 am]

I agree with 85 to 90% of what you say. I’m especially sympathetic to your desire to find a way to encourage evangelicals to relate to homosexuals with love and not judgment.

However, it would be ironic to discount the Bible’s teaching on homosexuality because there were few long-term, committed homosexual relationships in Jewish society at the time of Jesus. Think about it: why weren’t there such relationships? Because homosexuality was considered wrong. It would not have occurred to anyone that letting the sin go on longer and letting the participants get more committed to it would make it right.

Such a concept doesn’t make any more sense today than it would have then.

[ # 728 ] Comment from Eric Stillman [July 1, 2007, 4:42 pm]

EJ - thanks for your thoughts. I mention the probable absence of committed, monogamous homosexual relationships in Biblical times as a fact worthy of consideration in the debate, but I agree with you that it would be wrong to completely discount Biblical teaching because of that fact. I think part of honest & accurate Biblical scholarship is to understand the cultural & textual context & the meaning of the words in their original language so that we can be as careful as possible not to make the Biblical texts say something they may not actually be saying. For example, if 1 Corinthians 6:9 is referring to pederasty (sexual relationships between adults & adolesecent boys as practiced by the Greeks), that doesn’t mean Paul wouldn’t have said the same things about committed homosexual couples, but it opens the door for people to come to different conclusions depending on how they read the rest of the Biblical witness concerning human sexuality.

[ # 725 ] Comment from jimmy@relevant christian [July 1, 2007, 7:00 pm]

Jason,

Kudos to you for writing on such a delicate subject. You are so correct in your opinion of how churches have handled that homosexuality taboo.

Great job on the post Eric.

Keep up the good work.

Peace!

Jimmy@relevantchristian.com

[ # 726 ] Pingback from Homosexuality and the Church… « Relevant Christian Blog [July 1, 2007, 9:34 pm]

[…] and the Church… This post on the New Life Christian Fellowship Blog is very thought provoking.  Thanks Terry Storch for the link.  This issue is a lightning rod in […]

[ # 727 ] Comment from Deconstructed Christian [July 1, 2007, 11:54 pm]

This is the best opinion I’ve found on what is a very difficult topic that has so many strong reactions from all sides. After reading this I put my own reactions on my blog: http://deconstructedchristian.blogspot.com/2007/07/homosexuality-and-god.html

Heather.

[ # 790 ] Comment from Robyn [July 9, 2007, 3:26 pm]

Eric, I just discovered your blog today, and I have to tell you, I so admire the way you handle difficult issues. Regarding the particular issue of homosexual union in the church (or, as my LGBT friends would want to say, “queer Christian marriage”), what do you think about the idea that the movement towards sanctioning such relationships could possibly come from the influence of the Holy Spirit? I’m aware that some folks might find this concept deeply offensive, or at the very least, contradictory to Scripture, but please, if you would, accept this merely as an honest question from someone who is deeply committed to following Christ, but who often finds the current discussion of this particular topic to be too perplexing, frustrating, and divisive to withstand such radical questions.

In terms of Biblical precedent for the Holy Spirit influencing the church in new directions, I have in mind Peter’s vision of the tablecloth coming from heaven (Acts 10:9ff). Here an action previously stipulated within Jewish ritual law as being unclean or impure (i.e., the prohibition in Leviticus against the eating of certain foods) is actually sanctioned as good by the voice of God. I find this passage interesting in three ways: one, that this sanction occurs to Peter as an individual (that is, not to a community of believers, who, one supposes, could have perhaps tested and discerned the vision together); two, that this vision contradicts several major ritual standards that were to serve as evidence of the Jewish community’s faithfulness to God (that is, the vision seems to suggest a new kind of relationship between humanity and God that is not dependent on certain previously incontrovertible biblical conventions); and three, that this vision is immediately followed by the conversion of a non-Jewish foreigner (the Roman centurion, Cornelius), who, one might suppose, would have otherwise been reviled and rejected from any self-respecting first century Palestinian Jewish religious group (that is, the result of Peter’s vision is that someone who has previously been outcast is welcomed into the body of Christ).

Following such reflections, could we say that those Christians in the church today who support homosexual unions are perhaps witnessing an analogous movement of the Holy Spirit in a radically new direction? And could, perhaps, the full inclusion of LGBT persons within the life of the church lead to the conversion of a number of individuals who have previously been outcast or reviled?

Thanks for thoughtfully and prayerfully considering my questions. I appreciate posting to what appears to be a gentle space for discussion.

[ # 806 ] Comment from Rob [July 10, 2007, 11:44 am]

Uhm… I’m a little confused by all of this. I firmly believe that we as Christians have dropped the ball in regards to being good samaritans, most especially toward the homosexual community, but I really find it hard to sit back and hear some of the comments made here. I have no doubt that the Holy Spirit has been and will continue to lead in awakening and change us from the lifestyles and cultural influences that have so much shaped our own beliefs and adapted to our Christianity, much like Peter’s experience, and much like the issues of slavery and women in leadership. But to say that the Bible is not clear on the issue of homosexuality is a real far stretch. All you have done is redefine a term (homosexuality) to fit our own cultural views for today. That’s just bad apologetics.

The Bible clearly states that homosexual behaviour is sinful… regardless of whether one is born that way or is in a monogamous relationship.That’s akin to saying, you cannot have sex outside of a marriage-covenant relationship but oral sex is ok because intercourse is not involved and anyway, the Bible doesn’t talk about oral sex so that should be a green light for it. Some of us need to review scripture a little deeper (Romans 1:24 & Galatians 5:16).

The issue of judging came up. There is a clear line that needs to be drawn here, Paul states really clearly that we are not to judge those who do not profess to be Christian, but he is also very clear on judging those who do profess to be Christians (1 Cor. 5:12-13). So, for those of you that continue to hark on the “don’t judge”, that’s all fine and well until we are on the same playing field. The Bible wasn’t written to appease people, it was written to challenge us. As much as it is comforting, it is also hard and demanding.

The issue of homosexuality has caused many problems and I love the fact that for once we are doing more to understand and less to condemn, we are seeking to embrace and not dispel. This is a good thing, and like Eric’s earlier post (Question Everything) we really need to be sure of how and why we believe what we believe. But we are called to be like Jesus, and His ministry was first based on healing people, the next step was to instruct them to sin no more. In the past Christianity has been notorious for telling people not to sin and not caring about healing them. Today it seems like we prefer not to heal or deal… just be accepting.

[ # 810 ] Comment from Eric Stillman [July 10, 2007, 2:37 pm]

Rob - thanks for your comments, and for speaking your convictions in a thoughtful and respectful way. I am glad that you have seen this as a forum to understand and dialogue. I agree with you wholeheartedly on the judging issue; in my comments to SteepleJack I said that if someone doesn’t see the Bible has their authority, then they are free to live their life, but if someone wants to follow Jesus and submit to both the Bible and the conviction of the Holy Spirit, then they have to wrestle with what the Bible says about homosexual behavior. And as pastors, you and I do not have the luxury of just saying “God will sort it out,” but we have to make clear decisions about what we believe the Bible says and how to apply it to those under our care in the church. Having said all that, one of the biggest problems Christians have in this arena is passing judgment on those who do not claim to follow Jesus. If someone is outside the will of God, it is for rejecting the salvation offered through Jesus, not because of their sexual preference, so if we believe that homosexual behavior is sinful than we need to be careful about singling out that sin as somehow worse than others.

I still believe that the issue is more complicated than you may realize. This doesn’t mean I disagree with you; simply that an honest look at what the Biblical passages on homosexual behavior really say does allow for ambiguity, because it is entirely possible that none of them are speaking about monogamous, committed homosexual relationships (which were probably not in existence in Judaism of that time). Therefore, to say that those passages speak to what we see today may be bad exegesis, making those passages say more than they were originally intended to say. Having said that, I personally believe we can learn about God’s intent in human sexuality from passages such as Genesis 2:22-25 and Ephesians 5:21-33. Again, I don’t necessarily disagree with you on the conclusion, but I do think the issue is more complicated than you may realize. I believe that the fact that there are believing Christians who are either gay or do not agree that the Bible condemns homosexual behavior means that we need to do our best to understand this issue in all of its complexity, instead of just telling them that they are wrong. In the end, I don’t think that will achieve anything but division.

[ # 938 ] Comment from Che Vachon [July 14, 2007, 1:49 pm]

Thank you for a thought-provoking blog, on an issue that is difficult to understand.
I’ve been diving into trying to find my place to stand in this issue, and slowly-ever so slowly-coming to the conclusion that I have to just love the them, and trust that God knows me, knows my neighbour, and will lead us into healthy relationship.
I”ve been raised an evangelical christian, and been told that gay people were wrong, and to be avoided. God has been very firm with me that this attitude is so wrong. I have decided to learn to love like He does, and I figure that He is the one to teach me how to do that in the day-to-day. As I read the blogs, and have discussions at my church, what seems to be arising is that this issue is bigger than it ever has been in history. And as I see that, I wonder what God is preparing to show us.
I wonder if it will be like the issue of slavery. The Bible is full of texts addressing slaves to thier masters and vice-versa. And yet, God is the one who began to address the issue of freeing slaves, abolishing slavery. Could be that maybe He has a different view than we’ve been accepting as ‘right’ for so many centuries? I don’t know…but the thought sits there.
I like that there are places like this where we can ask questions, and discuss views and thoughts.
I find myself agreeing with most of what has been posting, even when seemingly the views don’t agree.
The Bible is so full of truth, and I think that we merely scratch at the surface. I have found that the more I read, the more I discuss with Him, the more questions I have. I don’t find that anything is exactly clear at all. Even loving my neighbour…..what does that look like in every situation? Loving my neighbour when the person is my friend seems pretty simple. Loving my neightbour when she runs off with my husband seems a bit different. Loving my neighbour when he is an addict is different yet again. What does love look like?
I don’t have any people in my life right now that are professing to be gay. So I don’t have anyone to even ask what it’s like for them…yet I find myself pushed to ask my questions…perhaps find some stable ground, so that when I do have someone to build friendship with, I’ll know better how to care for them.
Thanks for daring to approach this issue.

[ # 1083 ] Comment from Eric Stillman [July 19, 2007, 1:38 pm]

Robyn - Thank you for your comments. You are clearly an intelligent thinker who is seeking to love your neighbor as yourself! I was intrigued by what you proposed, and I think the possible parallel to Peter’s vision in Acts 10 is worth considering. It is an interesting passage to consider because as close as Peter was to Jesus, he was obviously completely missing the heart of God in his attitude towards Gentiles. In the same way, the church needs to be sure that in its desire for purity and faithfulness to God, it is not missing the heart of God in its attitude towards the gay community.

I think it’s very important to look back throughout the Bible to see what God’s intent has been from the beginning when we talk about such difficult issues. In the case of opening salvation to the Gentiles, I think that while Peter may have missed it, we can see that this was God’s plan all along (although God’s decision to declare all foods clean is not so clear to me from looking through the Old Testament). He blessed Abraham with the ultimate goal that “all peoples on earth will be blessed through you” (Genesis 12:3). Israel was to be a light shining to the world so that all would eventually come and worship the true God. And of course, before Jesus ascended into heaven, he told his disciples to go into all the world and make disciples, and to be his witnesses to the ends of the earth (Matthew 28:18-20, Acts 1:8). I think that God’s goal all along was to bring salvation to the whole world, and he used Peter’s dream to make that goal very clear to him.

So the question is, are there hints in the Old Testament that God’s intent has been for marriage to be between two people who love each other, regardless of gender? I’m not sure I see the hints. I think God’s intent in Genesis 2 was for a man and a women to come together in marriage, that in some mysterious way that would present to the world a picture of God and his love for his people (Ephesians 5). What do you think? Do you see something I may be missing?

I admire your desire to see full inclusion of LGBT individuals in the life of the church, so that none would be outcast or reviled. That would certainly be at the heart of Peter’s vision, to not call anything or anyone unclean that God has made clean. Whether or not such an inclusion would involve revising the traditional view of Christian marriage is the big question that is obviously causing the lamentable divisions in the church today.

[ # 1162 ] Comment from J.Travis [July 26, 2007, 9:24 pm]

Boy. it really is the last days.

Let’s try this, how about inserting one of all the other “do not be deceived” sins, for instance “adulterers” into these debates, or how about “murderers”.

humm, it would go something like this:

If someone is in a commited “murdering” relationship there should be no reason why we shouldn’t include them as part of a loving community of God. ( Wake up!!)

This wisdom is not from God but is earthly, demonic, sensual.

If I may get us off our own opinions for a moment and insert some facts:

1/3 of all sexual crimes done to children are from homosexuals, only 1 to 2 % of the population.
You want that unrepented of danger in your church? Read 1 cor. 5
The term “abusers of themselves with mankind” means what it says, these people are killing themselves with filthy practices, and hurting your children. So who is my neighbor?

Jesus preached “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand”

That goes for all sinners, we don’t have to worry about the outcome.

Do not call clean what God has called unclean.

Do not be deceived people.
At least stop trying to decieve other people about sins that lead to death
until you’ve read the entire Bible, twice.
Sin kills.
Jesus came that we would have life.

Have you been born again? That will help you understand plain truth.

The first step is repentance of your sins, then accepting Jesus as the substitute for your sin.
Then picking up your cross, denying yourself and following Him.

[ # 1183 ] Comment from Eric Stillman [July 27, 2007, 10:02 pm]

Thank you for your comments J. Firstly, I think it’s important to remember that Paul didn’t write in King James English but in Greek, so the first important question is what he meant by “malakoi oute arsenokoitai” (which the KJV translates as “effeminate nor abusers of themselves with mankind”). Since he wrote in Greek, we need to do our best to understand what Paul was speaking to in 1 Corinthians 6:9 and not force a 21st century grid on his writing. My point was that Paul was likely speaking to male prostitution and pederasty (men with boys), and not to committed, monogamous homosexual unions, since those were likely not in his world the way they are in ours. That doesn’t necessarily make monogamous homosexual unions right; it’s just proper Biblical exegesis to read a verse in its historical, grammatical context.

More importantly, my hope is for gay and straight people to come to know Jesus as their Savior and Lord. I think loving, constructive, truth-seeking dialogue is an important step in opening one’s eyes to the love and grace which God extends towards all His creation. I’m not sure your approach accomplishes anything but confirming people’s worst stereotypes of Christians and consequently makes people reject God’s offer of love and grace. I can’t see one gay person reading your comment and wanting to follow Jesus, and that’s a problem. Jesus had a way of drawing all kinds of people on the margins to Him, and I would encourage you to study Him closely to see how He managed to be without sin yet still be so welcoming and attractive to those on the margins.

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[ # 3363 ] Comment from Luke [November 17, 2007, 11:22 am]

Interesting discussion with may relevant and thought-provoking comments. Eric, you say the following:

“My point was that Paul was likely speaking to male prostitution and pederasty (men with boys), and not to committed, monogamous homosexual unions, since those were likely not in his world the way they are in ours. That doesn’t necessarily make monogamous homosexual unions right; it’s just proper Biblical exegesis to read a verse in its historical, grammatical context.”

First of all, you are probably correct in your assumption that committed, monogamous, homosexual unions did not exist in his world “as they do in ours today.” This could be because the culture back then much more strongly resembled a place like recent Iran vs. a place like the recent USA with its currently relaxed social morals and mores. A place like Iran certainly has gay people, but they most likely partake in the relationship in a very secretive manner due to the negative social consequences if they were openly practicing the behaviour. I would think that this most likely is how it worked in Biblical times, as well. I don’t believe Paul was ignorant of the fact that adults of the same gender had the potential to be involved in a sexual relationship, besides your mention of male prostitution and “men with boys”.

I’d like to know how specific the Greek is in those passages. Do you happen to understand precisely what it says? Is it really just speaking of male prostitution and men with boys, or is it speaking in a broader sense about same gender sexual relations? How do you know?

If its speaks in a general sense, than there is no question in my mind that homosexuality is wrong - period. How can we make assumptions about homosexual behavior in those times and say that just because they didn’t have monogamous homosexual unions back then, Paul must not have included that practice when he was saying it was wrong. Does the Greek say explicitly otherwise? If the Bible says we should not steal in the broad sense, then should we say that it may be okay to download music illegally because they didn’t have the internet back then so the Biblical writer couldn’t have been including that activity?

Besides all of this chatter, do realize that I firmly believe we have to love homosexuals, even as we do not love what they are doing Much like you would still love a relative if they had a serious drinking problem…

Anyway, gotta run..

God bless,

Luke

[ # 3597 ] Comment from Tim [November 25, 2007, 5:54 pm]

Eric,

In this blog, you start with great intentions, recognizing the failure of the church to appropriately address the homosexual issue. I was at a Bible study years ago, and my pastor’s wife was very distraught. At that time, Ellen Degeneris had come out of the closet, identifying herself as a homosexual. She had seen a prominent Christian figure had called her “Ellen Degenerate”. That pastor’s wife made a deep impression on me as she lamented with tears streaming down her face that this woman had just admitted in a public way that she had chosen a lifestyle in an attempt to fill a void in her life that only God could fill, and that “leader”, representing the only group with the answer to the depravity of the fallen human soul had done her a terrible injustice. Did he forever close the door for her? I shudder to think of having to answer for that act before the throne of God.

The key in this issue is the same with any other sin. The Bible is clear in identifying the homosexual lifestyle as sin. How do you love the sinner, and at the same time hate the sin? Jesus didn’t do it by name calling. He also didn’t condone the errant lifestyle. “Go and sin no more!” was the admonition.

The church has become impotent in its ability to facilitate the connection of the power of God with the people who desperately need it. Because the issues seem insurmountable, we find a way to rationalize it. How powerful is the Holy Spirit in His ability to bring healing in this area? From the looks of this blog, I would argue that most of the writers contributing to this blog do not believe God can and does do this. Personally, I believe God’s power is available to anyone who turns to Him.

Homosexual desires are not the sin. They are the symptom of the deeper need of the one struggling. The root cause of the symptom may be generational, it may be a reaction to abuse, it may be a hunger for something lacking in his or her own life. There may be a myriad of other things contributing, but the thing to realize is that the sin is in the choice to act out.

For the church to condone a lifestyle of acting out in this way should be as unthinkable as a church that condones an adulterous or murderous or criminal lifestyle. For the church to condone leaders with this lifestyle reminds me of the Israelites when they would turn from God as they so often did. If I recall correctly, (DUH) God did not like it much when they did that.

The parable of the Good Samaritan came up many times in the blog. It is really not applicable in this situation. The victim in the parable was not on the side of the road because of his sinful lifestyle. But since this connection has been made, for illustration purposes, I will tweak the story a little. Suppose the man on the side of the road was an alcoholic drunk out of his mind. Should the Samaritan take him to the nearest bar, and give him money? Would the Samaritan be showing the love of God by embracing his alcoholic lifestyle? I don’t think so. A more appropriate approach might be to take him to a clinic, but the best approach is for the church to have ministries in place to help bring the power of God to bear on this deadly addiction. If you are truly passionate about extending God’s love to the homosexual, set up a ministry to focus on this issue. Their homosexual desires are not so strong that the Holy Spirit (Helper) cannot help them out of the lifestyle into one that radiates the fact that the Kingdom of God has come and brought healing and restoration to the needy ones.

When it comes down to it, we all need His healing.

My prayer is that the entries to this blog didn’t provide someone with the rationalization that continuing in that lifestyle or any other is okay with God.

[ # 3747 ] Comment from watchman [November 30, 2007, 7:36 pm]

How Jesus Heals us Through His Church

- Andrew Comiskey

We are a people of desire–desires that can drive us toward noble and true expressions of our humanity, and desires that can reduce us to the animal kingdom–the rat in the wheel.

The only way that transformation can occur is through Christ and His community. As we come broken into the church, His faithful love can transform our desires. This is with the help of the church, not in spite of her. Jesus’ body on earth has the authority to convert the rat into a saint. I will use my own story of healing from homosexuality to demonstrate how Jesus, through His community, transforms our desires.

25 years ago, I began this process of transformation. My starting point was as a practicing homosexual. Today I can join with the Psalmist in proclaiming: “You, Father, have satisfied my desires with good things, so that my youth is renewed like the eagle’s. The Lord works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed.”(Ps 103:5,6)

My oppression had to do with misplaced desire. God’s justice involved the realignment of my desire through the power of His transforming love. That love elevated my sight as to who He was, and the higher purposes He intended for my humanity.

Growing up, I faced goodness and brokenness, like all of you. All of our families possess both, as all are fallen subject to sin in all of its depth and complexity. In my case, I had loving parents who were nevertheless a bit detached from me. That left me hungry emotionally, and vulnerable to false ways of getting my needs met. This was especially true of my father. I had not a good connection with him, and that contributed to a great hunger for masculine love and affirmation.

In my culture, one can readily embrace the homosexual world as a way of finding masculine love. It is a perverse and idolatrous world that promises in vain to take away one’s deep desire for love. That was true for me. I began to hunger for more. There, in the gay world, I began to realize that another human being could not satisfy me. It had to come from God.

God who? I was not a Christian. But people were praying for me, including my faithful mother. One day I came home after a night of partying, bearing the deadly pallor of sin. My mother looked straight into my eyes and said: “You need Jesus!” She was right–I needed a Savior who was more powerful than my misplaced desires. For the first time, I began to cry out to the God who revealed Himself in Jesus Christ.

Jesus invited me into a life I knew nothing about. His persistent mercy made all the difference in my ignorance and rebellion. It reminds me of the story of the prodigal son. When I turned a little toward Jesus, He ran toward me and closed the gap created by my sin and shame. Luke 15:20 reads: “While the son was still a long way off, the Father saw him, ran to him, threw his arms around him, and kissed him.” Jesus revealed the Father’s love to me–a love far more powerful and patient than the perverse objects of my desire.

The church embraced me as a healing community. This occurred at first more in spite of myself than through my obedience. Once I backslid, and went out partying with some friends. Right away I could see that I was in the wrong place&–these people were not my people anymore. I was a Christian, born of the Spirit. So I ran out of the party, and did not stop for a mile or so. I was in a strange city at midnight; I had no idea where I was going.

On the right side of the street, I saw a gathering of people, spilling out onto the pavement. I ran by them and recognized a few. These were people from my church, holding a revival meeting in that downtown area! I joined them, and immediately felt like I was at home. “These are my people,” I thought. “This is where I belong, in fellowship with those who worship the same Father, who bear the same Spirit.” Church became home–I knew that without the community of Christ, I would be lost, subject to the powerful and perverse “fathers” of my other community.

Gratefully, I found a church that gave people room to be converted–to discover over time who the Father really was so that we could be changed through our devotion to Him. There I grew as a worshipper of the One. That transformation occurred as I experienced the continuous witness of grace and truth through members of that body.

My story reminds me of how Jesus related to the Samaritan woman. (Jn 4) If you recall, Jesus meets her at a well, and asks her for a drink. He offers her “living water.” That special drink symbolizes the Spirit of resurrection poured out on human hearts, able to satisfy the deepest desires within us. What makes this offering all the more remarkable is the nature of the woman. She would have felt great shame in Christ’s presence, disqualified from holy love. Why?

First, she was a Samaritan, a product of Jewish and Canaanite ancestry. That mixture signified idolatry–the Jews pursuing the gods of other nations. Thus she was conceived in shame. Also, she was a woman, and Jewish leaders were forbidden to freely engage with women. Lastly, she was a sexually immoral woman, whose shame and brokenness drove her into degrading practices. Disqualified from real love, she sought love in the wrong way, through cyclical, dead-end relationships.

But Jesus had other plans. He meets her and relates to her as an object of divine desire. He offers her His unfailing love in the form of “living water.” He knows that only a higher love can satisfy the true cry of her heart, and set her free to become who the Father intended her to be.

Jesus demonstrates this to her through relationship with her. So must we as Christ’s body model the same way of relating to seekers who like her are full of shame, and bound to sin. The body of Christ continued to do that for me. I would sometimes come to church with a dark and unbelieving spirit, ready to dismiss every good thing as irrelevant to my life.

The love and acceptance of fellow Christians broke that spirit. Their love was like “living water” to me, poured out upon the thick shame coat I wore, able to dissolve the lies with the power of love. Such encouragement kept me coming back for more. Real love satisfies. It breaks the power of lies, and keeps us on the pathway of transformation.

Jesus appeals to our greatest desire–our need for love. And He promises to satisfy our desires with good things. He does so through His Spirit–the living water–that He pours out upon us through the consistent love of His body. Jesus said this to the Samaritan woman about the power of such love: “Whoever drinks the water that I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” (4:14)

But Jesus is also wise. He knows well that we can refuse that living water by continuing to draw from false sources of love. God used Jeremiah to describe this: “My people have committed two sins: they have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and the have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water.” (Jer.2:13) Wise and truthful in His mercy, Jesus exposes the false wells we have dug in a vain effort to satisfy our needs, our way.

That’s why, immediately after offering the Samaritan His Spirit, He exposes her sin. Jesus asks her to call her husband–He gets personal with her. She stammers out, “I have no husband.” Jesus then reveals His awareness of her string of broken relationships with men. (vs.16-18) These unions were her toxic wells. He sheds light on them to reveal His all-knowing Lordship. And at the same time, He reveals to her and to us that only He can satisfy our souls. To refuse the awareness of sin is to forfeit the gift of His Spirit, the living water capable of quenching our deepest thirst.

The community of Christ can help us here. In love, we can gently encourage one another to examine false sources of desire that we may be tempted to draw from. We must do so humbly, well aware of our personal vulnerabilities toward false feeding. I am grateful for my brothers and sisters who over the years invited me to look at my motives in certain relationships. That freed me to admit my sin. I could then receive forgiveness and gain the objectivity I needed to live within certain limits.

When I was just exiting the gay community, a good friend helped me to understand my particular temptation as just one of many that were common to all. He employed his struggle against heterosexual fornication and pornography as a model that I could follow, even though the objects of my desire were different. That difference did not exempt me from playing by the rules. I had to learn to deal with my sin and struggle as honestly as did my fellow traditional sinners.

We serve each other well when we gently point out another’s sin, especially in the sexual arena. It is a gift. This is because sexual sin reduces its players to something less. To be bound by lust in any direction binds us to the animal kingdom. We become rats on the wheel, running like addicts toward our next fix, never satisfied. On the other hand, God’s love for us is powerful and expansive. He wants to empower us to get off the rat’s wheel and set forth onto the awesome journey toward becoming all that He intends for us. That higher view of His purpose for our sexuality and relationships becomes apparent as we seek Him through His body.

I committed to a Bible-based church that at the same time held fast to the power of the living water to set captives free. There I discovered that I, like all the men and women in that church, was created to bear God’s image in how I related to the opposite-sex. (Gen.1:26,27) Further, like Adam, God created me with a good yearning to “not be alone.” (Gen.2:18) That meant that I was not exempt from having to work out my salvation as a man in relationship to women. I had to learn how to learn to love in a way that fit with my new identity as one sourced in the living water, created to love others the right way.

That was a challenge to me. But my good male friends did not let me off the hook. A part of me wanted to hide in my homosexual struggle, to be treated as special, somehow exempt from the dance of heterosexual love. My friends did not let me hide there for long. “Get in the game!” they urged. That meant to start living out the truth that Jesus defined me, not my past. As I continued to grow in my security as a man among other men, I began to feel and think differently towards women. God began to release my heterosexual desires.

The journey had just begun. Heterosexual desire alone does not make one a good gift for another. That requires the deeper, harder work of learning to love others sacrificially, with or without passion. I also had to face and forsake the comfort of my aloneness, the glorious selfishness of deciding things for myself. Loneliness has its rewards.

Gratefully, God led me to a beautiful woman who became my wife. With Annette, I emerged out of my aloneness and into a whole-enough man who could love another well. The support and example of more mature Christian couples was crucial here. At our pastor’s encouragement, Annette and I began to minister to other sexually broken people in our church. Soon after, we started to have kids. Four children later, the first now in college and the rest all teenagers, I can say with authority that it is more difficult to raise a family well than it is to come out of homosexuality! But it is also much more joyful, and deeply satisfying.

Jesus through His body is faithful to transform our desires. Our passions may be broken in different ways. But the Source of our healing is always the same–God’s living water poured out upon the dry, shameful, and sinful ground of our hearts. He grants us His love as the means and the end of our healing. As the church learns to love as Jesus loved the Samaritan, broken ones will realize that hope more and more.

Our desires are changed as we discover His love for us in the His community, the church. We respond to that amazing offering of love through our worship of Him. He gives us His all; we in turn give Him our hearts as we devote ourselves to Him. We worship Him out of gratitude. We pour out our affections and our thoughts—we yield our bodies to Him as acts of worship.

Worshipping the true God transforms our desires. While sexual sin and other forms of idolatry enslave our desires, real worship liberates them. That has certainly been the case for me. Worshipping Jesus with my community has been a continuous source of healing. He realigns our desires according to His will as we pour out our love to Him in worship.

Perhaps that’;s why Jesus named the Samaritan woman as a true worshipper of the living God. In John 4:21-24, Jesus describes her as among the true worshippers who will worship God in Spirit and in truth (v.24). In a few verses, He exposes her sin then identifies her as a holy worshipper; Jesus takes one devoted to sin and makes her one who glorifies God through her devotion to Him! That’s the power of divine love. His love transforms misplaced desire into holy devotion.

In so doing, we are not only compelled to give ourselves to Him in worship– we also cannot help but make Him known. The power of His mercy transforms our very purpose in life. God is not just content to satisfy our desires through realigning our sexual and relational orientation. He also wants to grant us a whole new focus in life–Himself, His Kingdom come now! There is nothing more satisfying than knowing we, out of intimate communion with the Lord of the universe, become agents of restoring others. I am in awe of how Jesus has sent my friends and I all over the world to make known the power of His living water! The privilege of making Jesus known is perhaps God’s answer to the deepest desire of the human heart. To be aligned with God’s purposes for us–nothing surpasses that.

Back to the Samaritan woman. Immediately after Jesus declared her a true worshipper, she leaves her water jar and begins to fulfill God’s purpose for her life. She declares Jesus as Lord to the people of her town (vs.28-30, 39-42). Revival broke out in Samaria through this raw evangelist. Having received living water hours earlier, she freely made her Savior known. As a result of her witness, many entered into communion with “the Savior of the world” (v.42). Her transformation of desire provoked the same change in many.

The body of Christ must take up that call of transformation. All of us are people of desire. And Jesus wants our desires–the good, bad, and ugly. When we gather in His name, He wants to meet us like He did the Samaritan woman–granting us freedom from shame and sin as we receive His love and give back love to Him. In the process, we enter into the reality of God’s high and holy purposes for our lives.

Without the body of Christ, “living water” will remain merely a good idea. But when we seek to extend that water to one another, we will answer the cries of broken hearts. We will see revival break out, even as the Samaritan did. We will witness Jesus’ transformation of our desires, and of many others. We will become the healing community of Christ–His very Presence in the world today, extending living water to those who hunger and thirst for truthful mercy.

[ # 3748 ] Comment from watchman [November 30, 2007, 7:45 pm]

Understanding Homosexuality
by Andrew Comiskey

Homosexual behavior is an attempt to fulfill normal needs for love, acceptance, and identity through sexual intimacy with someone of the same sex. Although the factors that contribute to the development of sexual orientation are complex and subtle, our experience suggests that one of the deepest roots of homosexuality is a break in early relational bonds. This relational breakdown can stunt the development of the individual’s ability to healthily connect with others throughout life.

The security of a child depends on the three-way bond of mother to child, father to child, and the bond between the parents. Any break in these bonds can produce insecurity in the child and thus a lack of that sense of belonging and affirmation which is so vital in the development of gender identity.

If the child has an absent or an emotionally distant mother or father, he or she will feel a certain amount of vulnerability - a vague longing for closeness and protection that the parent has not been able to fulfill. In addition to this, if the young person has been sexually molested, the impact upon his or her ability to bond with others will be all the more broken.

The child may detach from the parent and other significant adults in order to avoid any further hurt and disappointment. This tendency to withdraw produces fear of intimacy, isolation from others, and envy on account of what is missing; it also adds to the weight of the unworthiness and rejection that the young person is already carrying.

This leaves him or her with tremendous needs for affirmation and affection. In most instances, the attraction for the same sex begins around the age of ten; it is emotional, non-sexual, and involuntary. With sexual maturity, these needs become eroticized; sexual intimacy becomes a primary means for feeling loved and affirmed.

Hence, sexual activity offers some sense of being truly accepted. What seems to be love is received, the person extending this love is idolized, and as the pain becomes covered over with pleasure, a momentary sense of self-esteem emerges - a temporary relief from the confusion of identity.

Finding Completion
Thus, the homosexual condition is a result of the many hurts, real or perceived, that the child has suffered in the wake of broken relationships. The homosexual behavior is the activity that emerges as that “hurt child” seeks to fulfill these unmet needs for love. He or she may not know that sexual union can not impart the sense of completion and connectedness that is perhaps the most essential longing of the human soul.

The result of these efforts to meet one’s needs homosexually is loneliness; the individual is left more fragmented and ill at ease than ever. In addition to this emotional confusion, the person often blames God for the hurts and for creating him or her homosexual. This hinders his or her ability to trust the Creator, and taste of the deep intimacy with Him that would provide comfort and strength in the face of as yet unmet inner longings.

Are “they” born that way?
The teaching of Scripture is that God intended for men and women to experience relational completion - an easing of aloneness - through union with a partner who is sexually distinct from them, and who can thus be a true helpmate and companion in life.

“So God created man in His own image…male and female He created them….The Lord God said,
‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’” (Genesis 1:27, 2:18)

Homosexuality is a relational brokenness that scripture reveals as contrary to God’s creative intent for humanity’s sexuality. In light of this, one can be sure that whether homosexuality is the result of developmental causes or inborn characteristics, it is not the result of an act of creation by God.

But is it inborn? Much research has been done to explore potential genetic or hormonal contributions to the origins of homosexuality. No conclusive evidence has yet to be found. The exploration continues, with most experts citing a variety of influences that include culture, family-of-origin, biological factors, and one’s own reaction to these influences. At Desert Stream, we believe that biological factors influence the formation of personality. Our personalities in turn will partially determine how and why we act and react to the influences around us. Some personality types, when paired with other factors, may be more prone than other types to developing homosexual tendencies.

Is there hope for healing?
Homosexuality is clearly a two-fold condition. A fallen world imposes wounds, fears, identity confusion, and alienation; people react with sinful choices in an attempt to restore what has been broken and gain consolation in the midst of pain and need. Yet the goal remains unreached; the promise of real, lasting fulfillment proves to be all too elusive.

Jesus Christ is the alternative. He addresses the problem - humanity limited to self - and provides the way through which we can find fulfillment in God and His people. By releasing us from the dictates of the past, Jesus frees us to live as new creatures. The Holy Spirit carries on that process of change in our lives.

His grace is sufficient, for His strength is made perfect in weakness. He provides the mooring point for a new identity - the center out of which a true sense of well being can be enjoyed. As we draw close to Him, we are enabled to reflect His image in our humanity more and more fully.

The goal of our growth is the freedom to love aright: to relate intimately but non-erotically to the same-sex, and to be able to address the opposite sex as a needed counterpart without fear or disinterest. As we at Desert Stream believe such love is Christ’s intent for us, we affirm His capacity to carry it out in our lives, and in the lives of those who seek to be free from homosexuality.

[ # 8688 ] Comment from Mark [July 31, 2008, 1:40 pm]

I have been reading this blog and have seen that the trend of the worldly issues are bringing down the true meaning of what GOD THE FATHER, and what his word is telling each and every one of us. A lot of “christians” in the world now are picking apart the Bible ” Bible shopping “. They are doing this to try to find a way round the things that they doing in the sight of GOD. I am 47 years old and have seen than most that are writing on this blog. God’s word “the Bible” is all true and is not to be pick a part so we can TRY to explain away some things we do. I have seen many people destroyed by “so called” Christians that give the brush off to people that they feel are not worthy. The problem these days, people that are seeking are the so called “self proclaimed” christians. They are leading the lost into place that is very scary, like telling them that what they are doing is no problem, GOD still loves you. Yes, GOD does love them but what they are doing does not follow GODs word. Homosexuality, people are being told that it is genetic, its not they’re fault because they were born that way. GOD knows the difference between male and female, GOD does not make mistakes. He created Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve. We are made in GODs image, if GOD has no problem with homosexuality, same sex partners and such, why did he say “let no man lay with another man”. Religion now is telling the homosexual that being one is not their fault. Let us look at this a bit, if it is genetics, this is telling GOD that he made a mistake, that he done something wrong. Homosexuality is a choice of the person not a disease that you can catch. I have seen homosexuals leave that way of live and turn to GOD and repent of they’re sinful ways (praise GOD). If homosexual think that it is not they’re choice, read GODs word, the whole truth, not what man has told you, read what GOD says about it.

[ # 14123 ] Pingback from New Church « brandi wirz’s blog [January 29, 2009, 10:10 pm]

[…] breathes His Word in their everyday lives. This post on homosexuality really opened up my eyes:  http://www.newlife-glastonbury.org/blog/2007/06/26/homosexuality-and-the-church/#more-47 He really hit home in his expression of coming to a common ground and that in God’s eyes we […]

[ # 22357 ] Comment from Jan Liebegott [November 11, 2009, 10:06 pm]

I am a Christian lesbian. My Ebook “Is God A Gay Basher?” will help many understand that homosexual love is NOT a sin. Visit my blog @ adamross616.wordpress.com to read the book jacket and a little about me.

[ # 22776 ] Comment from Braydn D. [November 30, 2009, 2:01 am]

Interesting ideologies displayed in this post. I really appreciate the notion of love outweighing most else things. For a fresh perspective regardling religion and homosexuality, see the blog,
@ braidzy.wordpress.com
It offers some interesting points on the Church and sexuality.
Thanks again.

[ # 23044 ] Comment from Dave [December 13, 2009, 10:31 am]

wow, intelligent, civilized discussion without name calling etc. excellent!

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