Homosexual behavior is an attempt to fulfill normal needs for love, acceptance, and identity through sexual intimacy with someone of the same sex. Although the factors that contribute to the development of sexual orientation are complex and subtle, our experience suggests that one of the deepest roots of homosexuality is a break in early relational bonds. This relational breakdown can stunt the development of the individual’s ability to healthily connect with others throughout life.

The security of a child depends on the three-way bond of mother to child, father to child, and the bond between the parents. Any break in these bonds can produce insecurity in the child and thus a lack of that sense of belonging and affirmation which is so vital in the development of gender identity.

If the child has an absent or an emotionally distant mother or father, he or she will feel a certain amount of vulnerability – a vague longing for closeness and protection that the parent has not been able to fulfill. In addition to this, if the young person has been sexually molested, the impact upon his or her ability to bond with others will be all the more broken.

The child may detach from the parent and other significant adults in order to avoid any further hurt and disappointment. This tendency to withdraw produces fear of intimacy, isolation from others, and envy on account of what is missing; it also adds to the weight of the unworthiness and rejection that the young person is already carrying.

This leaves him or her with tremendous needs for affirmation and affection. In most instances, the attraction for the same sex begins around the age of ten; it is emotional, non-sexual, and involuntary. With sexual maturity, these needs become eroticized; sexual intimacy becomes a primary means for feeling loved and affirmed.

Hence, sexual activity offers some sense of being truly accepted. What seems to be love is received, the person extending this love is idolized, and as the pain becomes covered over with pleasure, a momentary sense of self-esteem emerges – a temporary relief from the confusion of identity.

Finding Completion
Thus, the homosexual condition is a result of the many hurts, real or perceived, that the child has suffered in the wake of broken relationships. The homosexual behavior is the activity that emerges as that “hurt child” seeks to fulfill these unmet needs for love. He or she may not know that sexual union can not impart the sense of completion and connectedness that is perhaps the most essential longing of the human soul.

The result of these efforts to meet one’s needs homosexually is loneliness; the individual is left more fragmented and ill at ease than ever. In addition to this emotional confusion, the person often blames God for the hurts and for creating him or her homosexual. This hinders his or her ability to trust the Creator, and taste of the deep intimacy with Him that would provide comfort and strength in the face of as yet unmet inner longings.

Are “they” born that way?
The teaching of Scripture is that God intended for men and women to experience relational completion – an easing of aloneness – through union with a partner who is sexually distinct from them, and who can thus be a true helpmate and companion in life.

“So God created man in His own image…male and female He created them….The Lord God said,
‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’” (Genesis 1:27, 2:18)

Homosexuality is a relational brokenness that scripture reveals as contrary to God’s creative intent for humanity’s sexuality. In light of this, one can be sure that whether homosexuality is the result of developmental causes or inborn characteristics, it is not the result of an act of creation by God.

But is it inborn? Much research has been done to explore potential genetic or hormonal contributions to the origins of homosexuality. No conclusive evidence has yet to be found. The exploration continues, with most experts citing a variety of influences that include culture, family-of-origin, biological factors, and one’s own reaction to these influences. At Desert Stream, we believe that biological factors influence the formation of personality. Our personalities in turn will partially determine how and why we act and react to the influences around us. Some personality types, when paired with other factors, may be more prone than other types to developing homosexual tendencies.

Is there hope for healing?
Homosexuality is clearly a two-fold condition. A fallen world imposes wounds, fears, identity confusion, and alienation; people react with sinful choices in an attempt to restore what has been broken and gain consolation in the midst of pain and need. Yet the goal remains unreached; the promise of real, lasting fulfillment proves to be all too elusive.

Jesus Christ is the alternative. He addresses the problem – humanity limited to self – and provides the way through which we can find fulfillment in God and His people. By releasing us from the dictates of the past, Jesus frees us to live as new creatures. The Holy Spirit carries on that process of change in our lives.

His grace is sufficient, for His strength is made perfect in weakness. He provides the mooring point for a new identity – the center out of which a true sense of well being can be enjoyed. As we draw close to Him, we are enabled to reflect His image in our humanity more and more fully.

The goal of our growth is the freedom to love aright: to relate intimately but non-erotically to the same-sex, and to be able to address the opposite sex as a needed counterpart without fear or disinterest. As we at Desert Stream believe such love is Christ’s intent for us, we affirm His capacity to carry it out in our lives, and in the lives of those who seek to be free from homosexuality.

- Andrew Comiskey

We are a people of desire–desires that can drive us toward noble and true expressions of our humanity, and desires that can reduce us to the animal kingdom–the rat in the wheel.

The only way that transformation can occur is through Christ and His community. As we come broken into the church, His faithful love can transform our desires. This is with the help of the church, not in spite of her. Jesus’ body on earth has the authority to convert the rat into a saint. I will use my own story of healing from homosexuality to demonstrate how Jesus, through His community, transforms our desires.

25 years ago, I began this process of transformation. My starting point was as a practicing homosexual. Today I can join with the Psalmist in proclaiming: “You, Father, have satisfied my desires with good things, so that my youth is renewed like the eagle’s. The Lord works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed.”(Ps 103:5,6)

My oppression had to do with misplaced desire. God’s justice involved the realignment of my desire through the power of His transforming love. That love elevated my sight as to who He was, and the higher purposes He intended for my humanity.

Growing up, I faced goodness and brokenness, like all of you. All of our families possess both, as all are fallen subject to sin in all of its depth and complexity. In my case, I had loving parents who were nevertheless a bit detached from me. That left me hungry emotionally, and vulnerable to false ways of getting my needs met. This was especially true of my father. I had not a good connection with him, and that contributed to a great hunger for masculine love and affirmation.

In my culture, one can readily embrace the homosexual world as a way of finding masculine love. It is a perverse and idolatrous world that promises in vain to take away one’s deep desire for love. That was true for me. I began to hunger for more. There, in the gay world, I began to realize that another human being could not satisfy me. It had to come from God.

God who? I was not a Christian. But people were praying for me, including my faithful mother. One day I came home after a night of partying, bearing the deadly pallor of sin. My mother looked straight into my eyes and said: “You need Jesus!” She was right–I needed a Savior who was more powerful than my misplaced desires. For the first time, I began to cry out to the God who revealed Himself in Jesus Christ.

Jesus invited me into a life I knew nothing about. His persistent mercy made all the difference in my ignorance and rebellion. It reminds me of the story of the prodigal son. When I turned a little toward Jesus, He ran toward me and closed the gap created by my sin and shame. Luke 15:20 reads: “While the son was still a long way off, the Father saw him, ran to him, threw his arms around him, and kissed him.” Jesus revealed the Father’s love to me–a love far more powerful and patient than the perverse objects of my desire.

The church embraced me as a healing community. This occurred at first more in spite of myself than through my obedience. Once I backslid, and went out partying with some friends. Right away I could see that I was in the wrong place&–these people were not my people anymore. I was a Christian, born of the Spirit. So I ran out of the party, and did not stop for a mile or so. I was in a strange city at midnight; I had no idea where I was going.

On the right side of the street, I saw a gathering of people, spilling out onto the pavement. I ran by them and recognized a few. These were people from my church, holding a revival meeting in that downtown area! I joined them, and immediately felt like I was at home. “These are my people,” I thought. “This is where I belong, in fellowship with those who worship the same Father, who bear the same Spirit.” Church became home–I knew that without the community of Christ, I would be lost, subject to the powerful and perverse “fathers” of my other community.

Gratefully, I found a church that gave people room to be converted–to discover over time who the Father really was so that we could be changed through our devotion to Him. There I grew as a worshipper of the One. That transformation occurred as I experienced the continuous witness of grace and truth through members of that body.

My story reminds me of how Jesus related to the Samaritan woman. (Jn 4) If you recall, Jesus meets her at a well, and asks her for a drink. He offers her “living water.” That special drink symbolizes the Spirit of resurrection poured out on human hearts, able to satisfy the deepest desires within us. What makes this offering all the more remarkable is the nature of the woman. She would have felt great shame in Christ’s presence, disqualified from holy love. Why?

First, she was a Samaritan, a product of Jewish and Canaanite ancestry. That mixture signified idolatry–the Jews pursuing the gods of other nations. Thus she was conceived in shame. Also, she was a woman, and Jewish leaders were forbidden to freely engage with women. Lastly, she was a sexually immoral woman, whose shame and brokenness drove her into degrading practices. Disqualified from real love, she sought love in the wrong way, through cyclical, dead-end relationships.

But Jesus had other plans. He meets her and relates to her as an object of divine desire. He offers her His unfailing love in the form of “living water.” He knows that only a higher love can satisfy the true cry of her heart, and set her free to become who the Father intended her to be.

Jesus demonstrates this to her through relationship with her. So must we as Christ’s body model the same way of relating to seekers who like her are full of shame, and bound to sin. The body of Christ continued to do that for me. I would sometimes come to church with a dark and unbelieving spirit, ready to dismiss every good thing as irrelevant to my life.

The love and acceptance of fellow Christians broke that spirit. Their love was like “living water” to me, poured out upon the thick shame coat I wore, able to dissolve the lies with the power of love. Such encouragement kept me coming back for more. Real love satisfies. It breaks the power of lies, and keeps us on the pathway of transformation.

Jesus appeals to our greatest desire–our need for love. And He promises to satisfy our desires with good things. He does so through His Spirit–the living water–that He pours out upon us through the consistent love of His body. Jesus said this to the Samaritan woman about the power of such love: “Whoever drinks the water that I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” (4:14)

But Jesus is also wise. He knows well that we can refuse that living water by continuing to draw from false sources of love. God used Jeremiah to describe this: “My people have committed two sins: they have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and the have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water.” (Jer.2:13) Wise and truthful in His mercy, Jesus exposes the false wells we have dug in a vain effort to satisfy our needs, our way.

That’s why, immediately after offering the Samaritan His Spirit, He exposes her sin. Jesus asks her to call her husband–He gets personal with her. She stammers out, “I have no husband.” Jesus then reveals His awareness of her string of broken relationships with men. (vs.16-18) These unions were her toxic wells. He sheds light on them to reveal His all-knowing Lordship. And at the same time, He reveals to her and to us that only He can satisfy our souls. To refuse the awareness of sin is to forfeit the gift of His Spirit, the living water capable of quenching our deepest thirst.

The community of Christ can help us here. In love, we can gently encourage one another to examine false sources of desire that we may be tempted to draw from. We must do so humbly, well aware of our personal vulnerabilities toward false feeding. I am grateful for my brothers and sisters who over the years invited me to look at my motives in certain relationships. That freed me to admit my sin. I could then receive forgiveness and gain the objectivity I needed to live within certain limits.

When I was just exiting the gay community, a good friend helped me to understand my particular temptation as just one of many that were common to all. He employed his struggle against heterosexual fornication and pornography as a model that I could follow, even though the objects of my desire were different. That difference did not exempt me from playing by the rules. I had to learn to deal with my sin and struggle as honestly as did my fellow traditional sinners.

We serve each other well when we gently point out another’s sin, especially in the sexual arena. It is a gift. This is because sexual sin reduces its players to something less. To be bound by lust in any direction binds us to the animal kingdom. We become rats on the wheel, running like addicts toward our next fix, never satisfied. On the other hand, God’s love for us is powerful and expansive. He wants to empower us to get off the rat’s wheel and set forth onto the awesome journey toward becoming all that He intends for us. That higher view of His purpose for our sexuality and relationships becomes apparent as we seek Him through His body.

I committed to a Bible-based church that at the same time held fast to the power of the living water to set captives free. There I discovered that I, like all the men and women in that church, was created to bear God’s image in how I related to the opposite-sex. (Gen.1:26,27) Further, like Adam, God created me with a good yearning to “not be alone.” (Gen.2:18) That meant that I was not exempt from having to work out my salvation as a man in relationship to women. I had to learn how to learn to love in a way that fit with my new identity as one sourced in the living water, created to love others the right way.

That was a challenge to me. But my good male friends did not let me off the hook. A part of me wanted to hide in my homosexual struggle, to be treated as special, somehow exempt from the dance of heterosexual love. My friends did not let me hide there for long. “Get in the game!” they urged. That meant to start living out the truth that Jesus defined me, not my past. As I continued to grow in my security as a man among other men, I began to feel and think differently towards women. God began to release my heterosexual desires.

The journey had just begun. Heterosexual desire alone does not make one a good gift for another. That requires the deeper, harder work of learning to love others sacrificially, with or without passion. I also had to face and forsake the comfort of my aloneness, the glorious selfishness of deciding things for myself. Loneliness has its rewards.

Gratefully, God led me to a beautiful woman who became my wife. With Annette, I emerged out of my aloneness and into a whole-enough man who could love another well. The support and example of more mature Christian couples was crucial here. At our pastor’s encouragement, Annette and I began to minister to other sexually broken people in our church. Soon after, we started to have kids. Four children later, the first now in college and the rest all teenagers, I can say with authority that it is more difficult to raise a family well than it is to come out of homosexuality! But it is also much more joyful, and deeply satisfying.

Jesus through His body is faithful to transform our desires. Our passions may be broken in different ways. But the Source of our healing is always the same–God’s living water poured out upon the dry, shameful, and sinful ground of our hearts. He grants us His love as the means and the end of our healing. As the church learns to love as Jesus loved the Samaritan, broken ones will realize that hope more and more.

Our desires are changed as we discover His love for us in the His community, the church. We respond to that amazing offering of love through our worship of Him. He gives us His all; we in turn give Him our hearts as we devote ourselves to Him. We worship Him out of gratitude. We pour out our affections and our thoughts—we yield our bodies to Him as acts of worship.

Worshipping the true God transforms our desires. While sexual sin and other forms of idolatry enslave our desires, real worship liberates them. That has certainly been the case for me. Worshipping Jesus with my community has been a continuous source of healing. He realigns our desires according to His will as we pour out our love to Him in worship.

Perhaps that’;s why Jesus named the Samaritan woman as a true worshipper of the living God. In John 4:21-24, Jesus describes her as among the true worshippers who will worship God in Spirit and in truth (v.24). In a few verses, He exposes her sin then identifies her as a holy worshipper; Jesus takes one devoted to sin and makes her one who glorifies God through her devotion to Him! That’s the power of divine love. His love transforms misplaced desire into holy devotion.

In so doing, we are not only compelled to give ourselves to Him in worship– we also cannot help but make Him known. The power of His mercy transforms our very purpose in life. God is not just content to satisfy our desires through realigning our sexual and relational orientation. He also wants to grant us a whole new focus in life–Himself, His Kingdom come now! There is nothing more satisfying than knowing we, out of intimate communion with the Lord of the universe, become agents of restoring others. I am in awe of how Jesus has sent my friends and I all over the world to make known the power of His living water! The privilege of making Jesus known is perhaps God’s answer to the deepest desire of the human heart. To be aligned with God’s purposes for us–nothing surpasses that.

Back to the Samaritan woman. Immediately after Jesus declared her a true worshipper, she leaves her water jar and begins to fulfill God’s purpose for her life. She declares Jesus as Lord to the people of her town (vs.28-30, 39-42). Revival broke out in Samaria through this raw evangelist. Having received living water hours earlier, she freely made her Savior known. As a result of her witness, many entered into communion with “the Savior of the world” (v.42). Her transformation of desire provoked the same change in many.

The body of Christ must take up that call of transformation. All of us are people of desire. And Jesus wants our desires–the good, bad, and ugly. When we gather in His name, He wants to meet us like He did the Samaritan woman–granting us freedom from shame and sin as we receive His love and give back love to Him. In the process, we enter into the reality of God’s high and holy purposes for our lives.

Without the body of Christ, “living water” will remain merely a good idea. But when we seek to extend that water to one another, we will answer the cries of broken hearts. We will see revival break out, even as the Samaritan did. We will witness Jesus’ transformation of our desires, and of many others. We will become the healing community of Christ–His very Presence in the world today, extending living water to those who hunger and thirst for truthful mercy.

In this blog, you start with great intentions, recognizing the failure of the church to appropriately address the homosexual issue. I was at a Bible study years ago, and my pastor’s wife was very distraught. At that time, Ellen Degeneris had come out of the closet, identifying herself as a homosexual. She had seen a prominent Christian figure had called her “Ellen Degenerate”. That pastor’s wife made a deep impression on me as she lamented with tears streaming down her face that this woman had just admitted in a public way that she had chosen a lifestyle in an attempt to fill a void in her life that only God could fill, and that “leader”, representing the only group with the answer to the depravity of the fallen human soul had done her a terrible injustice. Did he forever close the door for her? I shudder to think of having to answer for that act before the throne of God.

The key in this issue is the same with any other sin. The Bible is clear in identifying the homosexual lifestyle as sin. How do you love the sinner, and at the same time hate the sin? Jesus didn’t do it by name calling. He also didn’t condone the errant lifestyle. “Go and sin no more!” was the admonition.

The church has become impotent in its ability to facilitate the connection of the power of God with the people who desperately need it. Because the issues seem insurmountable, we find a way to rationalize it. How powerful is the Holy Spirit in His ability to bring healing in this area? From the looks of this blog, I would argue that most of the writers contributing to this blog do not believe God can and does do this. Personally, I believe God’s power is available to anyone who turns to Him.

Homosexual desires are not the sin. They are the symptom of the deeper need of the one struggling. The root cause of the symptom may be generational, it may be a reaction to abuse, it may be a hunger for something lacking in his or her own life. There may be a myriad of other things contributing, but the thing to realize is that the sin is in the choice to act out.

For the church to condone a lifestyle of acting out in this way should be as unthinkable as a church that condones an adulterous or murderous or criminal lifestyle. For the church to condone leaders with this lifestyle reminds me of the Israelites when they would turn from God as they so often did. If I recall correctly, (DUH) God did not like it much when they did that.

The parable of the Good Samaritan came up many times in the blog. It is really not applicable in this situation. The victim in the parable was not on the side of the road because of his sinful lifestyle. But since this connection has been made, for illustration purposes, I will tweak the story a little. Suppose the man on the side of the road was an alcoholic drunk out of his mind. Should the Samaritan take him to the nearest bar, and give him money? Would the Samaritan be showing the love of God by embracing his alcoholic lifestyle? I don’t think so. A more appropriate approach might be to take him to a clinic, but the best approach is for the church to have ministries in place to help bring the power of God to bear on this deadly addiction. If you are truly passionate about extending God’s love to the homosexual, set up a ministry to focus on this issue. Their homosexual desires are not so strong that the Holy Spirit (Helper) cannot help them out of the lifestyle into one that radiates the fact that the Kingdom of God has come and brought healing and restoration to the needy ones.

When it comes down to it, we all need His healing.

My prayer is that the entries to this blog didn’t provide someone with the rationalization that continuing in that lifestyle or any other is okay with God.

“My point was that Paul was likely speaking to male prostitution and pederasty (men with boys), and not to committed, monogamous homosexual unions, since those were likely not in his world the way they are in ours. That doesn’t necessarily make monogamous homosexual unions right; it’s just proper Biblical exegesis to read a verse in its historical, grammatical context.”

First of all, you are probably correct in your assumption that committed, monogamous, homosexual unions did not exist in his world “as they do in ours today.” This could be because the culture back then much more strongly resembled a place like recent Iran vs. a place like the recent USA with its currently relaxed social morals and mores. A place like Iran certainly has gay people, but they most likely partake in the relationship in a very secretive manner due to the negative social consequences if they were openly practicing the behaviour. I would think that this most likely is how it worked in Biblical times, as well. I don’t believe Paul was ignorant of the fact that adults of the same gender had the potential to be involved in a sexual relationship, besides your mention of male prostitution and “men with boys”.

I’d like to know how specific the Greek is in those passages. Do you happen to understand precisely what it says? Is it really just speaking of male prostitution and men with boys, or is it speaking in a broader sense about same gender sexual relations? How do you know?

If its speaks in a general sense, than there is no question in my mind that homosexuality is wrong – period. How can we make assumptions about homosexual behavior in those times and say that just because they didn’t have monogamous homosexual unions back then, Paul must not have included that practice when he was saying it was wrong. Does the Greek say explicitly otherwise? If the Bible says we should not steal in the broad sense, then should we say that it may be okay to download music illegally because they didn’t have the internet back then so the Biblical writer couldn’t have been including that activity?

Besides all of this chatter, do realize that I firmly believe we have to love homosexuals, even as we do not love what they are doing Much like you would still love a relative if they had a serious drinking problem…

Anyway, gotta run..

God bless,

Luke

More importantly, my hope is for gay and straight people to come to know Jesus as their Savior and Lord. I think loving, constructive, truth-seeking dialogue is an important step in opening one’s eyes to the love and grace which God extends towards all His creation. I’m not sure your approach accomplishes anything but confirming people’s worst stereotypes of Christians and consequently makes people reject God’s offer of love and grace. I can’t see one gay person reading your comment and wanting to follow Jesus, and that’s a problem. Jesus had a way of drawing all kinds of people on the margins to Him, and I would encourage you to study Him closely to see how He managed to be without sin yet still be so welcoming and attractive to those on the margins.

Let’s try this, how about inserting one of all the other “do not be deceived” sins, for instance “adulterers” into these debates, or how about “murderers”.

humm, it would go something like this:

If someone is in a commited “murdering” relationship there should be no reason why we shouldn’t include them as part of a loving community of God. ( Wake up!!)

This wisdom is not from God but is earthly, demonic, sensual.

If I may get us off our own opinions for a moment and insert some facts:

1/3 of all sexual crimes done to children are from homosexuals, only 1 to 2 % of the population.
You want that unrepented of danger in your church? Read 1 cor. 5
The term “abusers of themselves with mankind” means what it says, these people are killing themselves with filthy practices, and hurting your children. So who is my neighbor?

Jesus preached “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand”

That goes for all sinners, we don’t have to worry about the outcome.

Do not call clean what God has called unclean.

Do not be deceived people.
At least stop trying to decieve other people about sins that lead to death
until you’ve read the entire Bible, twice.
Sin kills.
Jesus came that we would have life.

Have you been born again? That will help you understand plain truth.

The first step is repentance of your sins, then accepting Jesus as the substitute for your sin.
Then picking up your cross, denying yourself and following Him.

I think it’s very important to look back throughout the Bible to see what God’s intent has been from the beginning when we talk about such difficult issues. In the case of opening salvation to the Gentiles, I think that while Peter may have missed it, we can see that this was God’s plan all along (although God’s decision to declare all foods clean is not so clear to me from looking through the Old Testament). He blessed Abraham with the ultimate goal that “all peoples on earth will be blessed through you” (Genesis 12:3). Israel was to be a light shining to the world so that all would eventually come and worship the true God. And of course, before Jesus ascended into heaven, he told his disciples to go into all the world and make disciples, and to be his witnesses to the ends of the earth (Matthew 28:18-20, Acts 1:8). I think that God’s goal all along was to bring salvation to the whole world, and he used Peter’s dream to make that goal very clear to him.

So the question is, are there hints in the Old Testament that God’s intent has been for marriage to be between two people who love each other, regardless of gender? I’m not sure I see the hints. I think God’s intent in Genesis 2 was for a man and a women to come together in marriage, that in some mysterious way that would present to the world a picture of God and his love for his people (Ephesians 5). What do you think? Do you see something I may be missing?

I admire your desire to see full inclusion of LGBT individuals in the life of the church, so that none would be outcast or reviled. That would certainly be at the heart of Peter’s vision, to not call anything or anyone unclean that God has made clean. Whether or not such an inclusion would involve revising the traditional view of Christian marriage is the big question that is obviously causing the lamentable divisions in the church today.

I still believe that the issue is more complicated than you may realize. This doesn’t mean I disagree with you; simply that an honest look at what the Biblical passages on homosexual behavior really say does allow for ambiguity, because it is entirely possible that none of them are speaking about monogamous, committed homosexual relationships (which were probably not in existence in Judaism of that time). Therefore, to say that those passages speak to what we see today may be bad exegesis, making those passages say more than they were originally intended to say. Having said that, I personally believe we can learn about God’s intent in human sexuality from passages such as Genesis 2:22-25 and Ephesians 5:21-33. Again, I don’t necessarily disagree with you on the conclusion, but I do think the issue is more complicated than you may realize. I believe that the fact that there are believing Christians who are either gay or do not agree that the Bible condemns homosexual behavior means that we need to do our best to understand this issue in all of its complexity, instead of just telling them that they are wrong. In the end, I don’t think that will achieve anything but division.