“Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another — and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” (Hebrews 10:25)

Last week I wrote about church transfers who leave churches out of dissatisfaction, and the importance of dealing with any unresolved issues before becoming a member of a new church so that the same pattern will not repeat itself.  One common frustration with people who leave churches is the general feeling that nobody cares about them.  They aren’t able to make it to church for three weeks, and nobody calls to see how they are doing.  They ask for prayer for something important happening in their life, and nobody checks in to see how things turned out.  Most churches talk about being a family, but what kind of family forgets to look after a brother or sister who is nowhere to be found for an extended period of time?  What kind of family turns a cold shoulder to a son or daughter going through a difficult time?  For those who expect a church to care for each other as a family, it can be disillusioning and hurtful to experience such neglect.

Our church definitely desires to be a loving family to each other, but our actual track record on this is mixed.  Speaking as the pastor, I know that there are times that I’m great about following up with people who haven’t been coming, but there are other times that I have noticed someone missing and not followed up; or, worse, yet, not even noticed someone has been missing until a month has passed.  As for the rest of our church family, caring for each other is often a very individual effort.  Some people love to send cards and call people, whether it is to encourage them or just to say hi or we’ve missed you, but many of us don’t naturally think of doing such things.  As a result, there will be some in the congregation who see NewLife as a great church family, and others who have never experienced that feeling.

On the one hand, we have to be realistic and realize that while the church is meant to be a family, most families don’t have 75 members!  It is one thing to not realize your only child is missing; quite another thing to not notice when a church member has not been there for three weeks, especially given the likelihood of sickness, travel, or other life interruptions.  But just because a church grows does not excuse the call we have to love one another and care for one another as Christ has loved and cared for us.  With that in mind, here are a couple of suggestions for you.

Firstly, join a small group!  I’ve heard it said at larger churches that those who are not in small groups need to stand in line to be cared for.  That may sound harsh, but as a church grows, small groups become more and more critical as a place where you can know others and be known, where your needs can be expressed and met, and where there will be good friends who will notice when you are not around and ask how you are doing.  Even over the last few weeks at NewLife, as more and more people have come to check out our church, you may be noticing how much harder it becomes to recognize which regulars have not been coming.  At present, we have three small groups:  one in Glastonbury, one in Manchester, and one in Andover.  I can not say enough about the maturity and commitment of our three couples who host and lead small groups – Gordon & Doreen Lawrence, Andy & Holly Hood, and Ben & Gretchen Michaelson.  If your desire is to be part of a group of believers who knows you and cares for you, there is no better place for you to be than in one of our small groups.  And if the nights or locations do not work for you, please let me know, because there is always the potential to form new groups.

Secondly, this Sunday after the morning service, in the room to the south of the sanctuary, we are having a brief meeting that is open to anyone who wants to help our church do a better job of caring for each other.  We do not want to make excuses when people leave our church, but instead we want to recognize that people do not slip through cracks but through fingers.  Our desire is to create a better care net, so that as a body we might encourage and care for those whom God brings our way.  You can hear more about the vision at the meeting on Sunday, but let me give one example:  every week we post a list of prayer needs in our church.  What if once a month, we had a small group of people willing to get together, divide up some of the people on the list, pray for them, and write them notes of encouragement just to let them know that our church is praying for them in their time of need?  The purpose of this group is not to detract from what anyone is doing on their own, but to hopefully find a simple way to help our church better comprehensively care for and encourage those who have needs. 

As in every family, it takes the effort of all members in order to make a group of people actually function like a family who cares for each other.  I would encourage you to find a way of helping our church care for each other, so that we might fulfill the words of our Lord Jesus: “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:34-35).

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