Father’s Day is fast approaching, and I want to pass along to the men of the congregation a sermon by Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill Church in Seattle called “Marriage and Men,” based on 1 Peter 3:7 (you can watch the sermon at http://www.marshillchurch.org/media/trial/marriage-and-men).  Pastor Driscoll is becoming more and more influential and widely known, usually for his Calvinist theology, his macho man image and depiction of a manly Jesus, and for occasionally crossing the line into inappropriate or crude humor.  But one thing I have always admired in him is that he appears to me of a man who knows how to love and protect his wife, love and train up his children in the Lord, and teach immature men what it means to be a real man – not a macho American man or an immature wanna-be man, but a man like Jesus.

The one word Pastor Driscoll uses to sum up what it means to be a man is this:  responsibility.  As someone who has often struggled to be the man, the husband, and father I want to be, that word has been resonating with me ever since watching the sermon.  Pastor Driscoll talked about how in the garden, Adam was the one who was held responsible for the sin, even though Eve was the first one deceived; witness Romans 5:12 - Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all men, because all sinned.  More importantly, Jesus, the perfect man, took responsibility for the sin of the world, even though none of it was his fault.  A real man is a man who takes responsibility – responsibility for his family, for providing for his family, for his wife, for seeing that his kids are raised to know the Lord.  Responsibility in the church, at work, and even around the house.  A real man who sees his wife struggling makes it his responsibility to get involved in helping make things right.  A real man who sees his children walking down the wrong path makes it his responsibility to get involved.  A real man who sees his church moving in the wrong direction steps up and sacrifices until it looks like the holy bride of Christ.  A real man is a man who does not expect everyone to do everything for him, but takes responsibility.  And like Jesus, even when something happens that is not his fault, he is willing to incarnate himself in the situation and take responsibility to make things right. 

1 Peter 3:7 says “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.”  Interesting consequences, no?  Pastor Driscoll puts it this way in his sermon – Peter says that if a husband does not treat their wife with respect, “God does not listen to him.”  Later on he preaches,

“You are dating, marrying, God’s daughter.  Do you really think you can hit her, neglect her, abuse her, impregnate her outside of marriage, put your hands all over her, lie to her, manipulate her, and then cry out to God ‘help me?’  God says ‘No way.  You don’t love my daughter, I don’t serve you.  You don’t honor my daughter, I don’t honor you.  You are on your own’… I tell you as a father, if you hurt my girl, and then ask for help to do it some more, your prayer will not be answered.”

Pastor Driscoll has a way of speaking to men that might offend some, but I found very appropriate and challenging.  He admitted that you can speak differently to men than you do to women, in a much more direct manner, and there are times (especially the last 10 minutes of the sermon) where he even yells at the men in his congregation.  But it is effective, and I as challenged by how he essentially called men to account, challenging them to grow up, to put aside boyhood ways and become a responsible adult, to treat women with honor, to serve and protect and love.  It is a high calling to be a man of God, and a significant challenge for those of us who have so often not lived up to the perfect man, Jesus.  But I’m thankful that someone out there is challenging men to be real men of honor, and I for one pray that I would become a man of responsibility and that our church would be made up of men who take responsibility – in their spiritual lives, in the church, in the workplace, in their community, and especially in their home.

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