Over the past two days, there have been two events which have caused serious reflection on the second most important relationship in my life (after God).  The first happened Sunday night, when I read of a young pastor of a fast-growing evangelical church who had resigned that morning due to an emotional and physical affair he had gotten into with his assistant.  News like this is always devastating to me, as it is agonizing to see how years of service to God can be undone in a moment by sinful choices.  It reconfirmed in me the need to guard myself against compromising situations, and reminded me of how Satan will come hardest as the leaders of a church, because he knows that if he can take them out, the whole thing will be shaken.  I know that Michele and I would covet your prayers and your support in making sure that our marriage and family are protected.   

Most importantly, however, that event reminded me how much I love my wife and how desperately I never want something like that to happen to our family.  I don’t think it’s possible to communicate to someone who has not been in a ministry family just what it is like being married to a pastor, but just to give you an idea, let me share some of the “Pastor’s wife” titles I found in a quick search on Amazon.com:

I’m more than the pastor’s wife:  authentic living in a fishbowl world
The sweetness of a bitter cup:  journey of a pastor’s wife
A life embraced:  a hopeful guide for the pastor’s wife
The pastor’s wife does cry!

And, of course:

Help!  I’m a pastor’s wife!

Frightening titles, no?  Seriously, is there another job out there that demands such intimate involvement on the part of a man’s family or invites such scrutiny?  Besides perhaps the President of the United States?  The difference is, of course, that the President can have an affair and still keep his job!  But for the pastor and his family, like the book said, it can be fishbowl living, with everyone on the outside looking in at you, each with their own expectations of how you should live. 

It is not important to go into detail of all that is involved in being a part of the pastor’s family, but what I really want to do is just say a big thank you to my wife – and every pastor’s wife for that matter – for being who she is.  I would not be a quarter of the man or the pastor I am without her.  She loves me even when I don’t deserve it, serves me even when I am self-centered, and always challenges me to be my best, to never settle.  She is a passionate woman who takes the call of God on our lives to love and serve the people of NewLife very seriously, and she is darn good at it.  I am in awe daily of all that she allows Jesus to do through her. 

The second event of the last two days was our seventh anniversary on Monday.  As I reflect on our marriage, I praise God for His promise that “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:6).  Even before our marriage, God began a good work when He brought us together.  We come from very different backgrounds, with very different personalities, but together have challenged and encouraged each other to a deeper relationship with God.  And though we are far from perfect, we cling to our God through the hard times and the good times, knowing that He is true to His promises and is doing something beautiful in and through us. 

So here’s to the Pastor’s wife.  I love you, Michele.

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