(Today’s Pulse was written by Marcia Mackey in 2005.  As I preach on wisdom from Proverbs, it has been my hope to give voice to some of the more wise and experienced members of our congregation, who can share from what they have learned along their journey with the Lord.)

 Do you want to be a shepherd who feeds only yourself?  A cloud without rain blown along by the wind?  An autumn tree without fruit and uprooted twice dead?  Do you want to be a wild wave of the sea foaming up in your shame?  A wandering star for whom blackest darkness has been reserved forever?  DO YOU??  (Jude 1:12-13)

To say yes to any of these would definitely make you a fool.  Why?  A fool is someone who turns his back on God or just does not want to believe in Him or thinks God is not right nor good enough for him.  “The fool says in his heart, ‘There is no God’” (Psalm 14:1).  “Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools” (Romans 1:22).  “But fools detest turning from evil” (Proverbs 13:19b).  Even if you do not totally reject God but are just lukewarm then you are still a fool.  God says in Revelation 3:16, “So because you are lukewarm – neither hot nor cold – I am about to spit you out of my mouth.”

Now God has made a way, since there was no other way, for you and for I to have life eternally.  “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16).  “Then he said, ‘here I am, I have come to do your will.’  He sets aside the first to establish the second.  And by that will, we have been made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once for all.  And where these (sins) have been forgiven, there is no longer any sacrifice for sin.  Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water” (Hebrews 10:9,10,18,22).  “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-not by works, so that no one can boost.  For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” (Ephesians 2:8-10).

As followers of Christ, our lives will not be free of temptation, evil, sin, heartache, questions, or loss.  No — not at all!  “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me” (Matthew 5:11).  “All men will hate you because of me, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved” (Matthew 10:22).  What God does say and promise is that he will make our burdens light, not give us more than we can handle and give us a way out.  Also that he will always love us and discipline us as needed.  “Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted” (Hebrews 2:18).  “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance” (James 1:2,3).  “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son.  Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons.  But God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness” (Heb 12:5b-8,10b).  We must not forget that Satan HATES everything about God and us if we have a relationship with Him.  Satan will try to take away our hope, our faith, our love in any way possible.  We may not even notice that he is trying to do this for a moment, but over time we will.  Let us NOT give Satan his undue glory of power, of selfishness, of darkness.

My husband and I prayed, both separately and together, about our future and what avenue God might want us to take.  After God ‘spoke’ to us individually, we came together, told each other what was put upon our hearts and then committed ourselves to God to follow his leading.  It was to retire from the military and move back to Abilene, TX, the very place Duane said he would never go back to.  (Truth—never say never to God.)  God knew what he was doing, for he knows the big picture.  We do not.  Duane would be working at Abilene Christian University helping to establish a new program called Missionary Residency for North America (MRNA).  This program would allow people who have a heart’s desire for God’s work in discipling others for Christ throughout this country (and the world), to be able to experience and actually be involved in learning and doing of the work before going off to wherever God would call them.  They would learn how to simplify the teaching of Scripture, how to reach people through real relationships and learn more fully of what it means to be the body (family) of Christ.  Yes, it is raising up Christian (followers of Christ) missionaries.

We arrived in Abilene in June 2004 driving from Ft. Worth/Dallas area where we were able to visit some friends and rest for a few days.  We drove straight to our new home and -oh my goodness- we were in for a surprise.  Neither my husband nor I remembered much about the house, but we did have different thoughts in mind.  The yard was in horrid condition.  Too many trees and overgrown some were, not much grass because of that, and rose bushes that at one time must have been beautiful.  No problem though, we do not mind doing outdoor work.  It will not be bad.  Then after picking up our house key from our neighbor and opening up the front door of our home –WOW- what an awful smell.  The odors of animal urine that had soaked up into the carpets and wood, it was downright nasty.  Okay, now we get to remodel the inside of the house.  After seven straight weeks of work, remodeling from the ceilings to the floors, we were able to move in.  Meanwhile what we were so unaware of due to our dedication on getting moved in, was that one of our precious Siamese cats of 14 years had gotten really sick.  Till we noticed and got her to the vet, it was too late.  She, Delilah, passed away in early August.  About that time we found out that my father was diagnosed with terminal small cell cancer and was given about ten months to live.  I flew home for visits in Aug, Dec, Jan, Mar and April.  Duane and Justin went back in Jan also for we thought dad (grandpa) was going to leave us then.  Dad finally passed away on April 7, 2005.

During that time span of Aug-Sept, our daughter, Jennifer, who was pregnant had not just her first but second miscarriage.  “God what is going on?!  What else can happen?!”  While working on our house, Duane’s left knee started giving him problems.  It got so bad that he could not run and was having trouble walking.  After some doctor visits, x-rays and such, Duane had knee surgery which took him literally out of commission for one month and then there was the therapy.  Throughout the next span of months, our house was still to give us minor hiccups:  appliances failing to work, pipes leaking and or bursting, and other smaller scale problems.  Another concern that came upon us was our financial situation.  We had believed that Duane would get a salary for working at ACU.  After three months, we were told that was not going to happen.  ACU had no funds now or definitely not in the near future to pay him for his services.  “Now what, Lord?! Missionaries?  Support?  What?!”  The Lord then humbled us and we knew what was to be done.  We are missionaries sent here by God and we need to ask for support from our friends and family to see if they would want to participate with us in our work for God here in Abilene.  We would rent out two bedrooms to ACU students, seek support, and I would work part time.  Through all this there was great frustration, anxiety and depression going on with both Duane and myself, especially me.  I would cry out to God – “Why?!?!?!  Why did you bring us here?  Why are you allowing all these things to happen to us?”  But deep down I knew that God was leading and I had His love, His hope and strength in the core of my being, my heart and my soul.  I had to hang on to the truth no matter how I felt, for feelings and emotions come and go but the love of the Lord is what is true and forever.  “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.  The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me” (Galatians 2:20).
 
The valleys are hard times, not particularly happy or pleasant.  They are times filled with lots of emotions and questions; times of crying out and listening; times of just surrendering your all to Jesus Christ the Lord.  We, as human beings, are incapable of truly helping ourselves in these times or ever—it is Christ and Him alone who is capable and wanting and willing to be our God, Father, Savior, Friend, Sustainer, Helper, and so much more!!!  It is He who will help us through the valleys and at all times during this life.  “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30).   

Whether we are in the valleys or on the mountain peaks, we must never forget to praise and worship Him, The Father, The Son and The Holy Ghost.  “Therefore we do not lose heart.  Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.  For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that for outweigh them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:16-18).  “Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe” (Philippians 2:14, 15).  “Rejoice in the Lord always.  I will say it again: Rejoice!  Let your gentleness be evident to all.  The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things” (Philippians 4:4-8)  “I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13).   Yes, Christ does give us strength, but if we are not abiding in Him, putting our faith and trust in Him and loving Him with all our heart, soul, and mind, then we are just a people of hopelessness and helplessness.  We can not be perfect as Christ is perfect while here on this earth, BUT we CAN strive to be that which God has called us to be.  Duane and I still had some anxieties about tomorrow (job and finances) but we knew and have definitely experienced that God is God-bigger than all-and He WILL see and sustain us today and throughout the rest of our lives. 

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