One of my most treasured memories of Eve had to do with prayer, of course.  Eve used to come to our Thursday noon prayer meetings at the church office, and one day she came with a big notebook to show me.  In that notebook, she had collected hundreds of prayers, Scriptures, promises of God, and personal prayers.  Reading through this book was like looking into the portfolio of a renowned artist, or the compositions of a virtuoso musician.  Eve’s passionate heart, full of trust in her God, was displayed on every page.  As she showed me the book, she recommended that I add a “prayer focus for the week” to the weekly Pulse, and I did just that, often drawing on something from Eve’s prayer notebook in order to stir our church’s hearts towards greater faith and prayer. 

The verse I usually like to preach on when I lead a memorial service is Ecclesiastes 7:2 – “It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of every man.”  At every funeral, we are reminded of the finality of death, the importance of living every day to the fullest, and the need to make sure we are right with God.  We are also reminded of how uniquely special the life we have been given really is, and the opportunity we have to forever impact the lives of others.  One of my favorite quotes comes from the late Christian musician Rich Mullins.  Reflecting on death, he wrote, “I think we cry at funerals – even at funerals of people we don’t like – because we realize what a miracle a life is.  You realize, ‘This will never happen again.’  There will never be this exact combination of genes, there will never again be the things that have created this person to be what he is.  God has spoken uniquely here, and it’s gone.  It’s over.  And I think there is some regret, because we all realize, boy, we didn’t pay enough attention.”  God spoke uniquely when He created Eve, and blessed are those who took the time to pay attention to what He had to say through her.

Do you have any meaningful memories of Eve?  If so, please share a comment below.

One of the blessings of pastoring a church made up of a younger crowd is that the number of weddings I officiate over the course of a year greatly outweighs the number of funerals.  In my pastoral career, I have actually only officiated one funeral, while playing a part in three others.  A verse that I’ve found appropriate to share on at funerals, no matter if the deceased was a committed Christian or not, is Ecclesiastes 7:2, which I’ve listed above.  It’s a simple verse, reminding us that every life ends in death, and that we would be wise to live in the light of that.  “Begin with the end in mind,” as Stephen Covey puts it in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.  Given that one day your life on this earth will be no more, how would you want to be remembered?  And how should you be living today in order to make that goal a reality?

I was reminded of this verse these past couple of weeks as I heard the news that Matt Chandler, an excellent young (if 35 is still young) pastor/preacher from Texas had collapsed due to a seizure and was found to have a tumor in his brain.  Knowing that he was going to have brain surgery that could radically alter his life, Pastor Chandler was given a unique opportunity to share about how this experience was shaping his faith.  I would encourage you to watch the brief (4:45) video that was shared with his congregation last Sunday, where Pastor Chandler is able to speak to the goodness of God in the midst of a potentially life-threatening experience.  I would also encourage you to listen to some of Pastor Chandler’s other sermons if you have the chance. 

I heard recently about a pastor who likes to take walks in cemeteries, because it reminds him to keep that final destiny in mind.  It may seem weird, to consider it “better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting”; after all, most young people are looking for the best party on a given weekend, rather than scanning the obituaries for the best funeral to attend.  But we would be wise to heed the words of the writer of Ecclesiastes, that we need regular reminders that while the parties and feasting may bring joy to our lives, we must also remember to live for what really matters, for we will not be in this body forever.  Above all else, we must ensure that we are right with God, that we have received the salvation He offers us and are experiencing His eternal life through Jesus.

As wonderful as the Last Lecture was to listen to, there are a couple of things that are hard to say but important to make clear.  If there is no God, and if this life is really all there is, than Dr. Pausch did about as well as one could do.  He lived life to the full, touched innumerable lives, went out with a bang, and in the end created more than one thing that will outlive him.  But if there is no God, then Dr. Pausch is no more.  He can not enjoy the success or impact he has had, and more than likely he will be forgotten in 100 years.  And that is a tragedy.

This past week, another woman died.  She was not a university professor, nor did she have any inventions to her name.  She never appeared on Oprah or wrote any books.  Her greatest accomplishments were as a wife and mother to her two children.  Her name was Rachel Barkey.  But Rachel had a couple of things in common with Dr. Pausch.  The first is that she was diagnosed with terminal cancer well before her time, dying of cancer at the age of 37, four and a half years after being diagnosed with breast cancer.  The second is that she also gave a “Last Lecture.”  Originally meant to be a talk to 20 women at her church, it became a speech given to 600 women in her home city of Vancouver (you can hear the talk and read more about Rachel at www.deathisnotdying.com).

Rachel may have been one woman living across the continent from us, but in her talk, she shares the difference the gospel makes, especially in the life of someone who knows they will die soon.  Her talk is entitled “Death is not Dying,” because for those who know Jesus Christ, “to live is Christ and to die is gain” (Philippians 1:21).  Because of the gospel, death is not the end for Rachel, or for anyone who dies knowing God.  And because of the gospel, her talk, while it probably will never become as famous as the one given by Dr. Pausch, will have an impact that lasts into eternity.  If you have an hour to spare, I would encourage you to listen to Rachel Barkey as she shares why “Death is not Dying”.

I was able to record the last hour of the memorial service, which included mostly testimonies from people who knew Ray on the impact he left on their life, and I have added the audio at the end of this entry.  I would encourage you to listen to the testimonies if you weren’t able to attend the service, so that you can get an idea of how God used this man to make a difference in so many lives, and hopefully be inspired to allow God to do the same in your life. 

My favorite moment came when Ray’s daughter Robin shared about the legacy he had left on her life.  She talked about how well he understood grace, that all was a gift to be grateful for, undeserved blessings from a God who owed us nothing.  Robin said that she learned that “Gratitude isn’t a glass half full/half empty thing.  It’s ‘oh my God, there’s a glass!  And I’m dying of thirst!  And I just cursed out the glass company!!!’”  That is true gratitude, recognizing what we deserve before a Holy God and truly coming to appreciate His undeserved grace towards us.  I’ve never heard it expressed with such a combination of truth and humor.

I’ve already expressed the legacy Ray left in my life in two previous Pulses, February 24th, 2009 and December 12th, 2008, and you can read both of those on the blog.  For now, take to heart the words of Ecclesiastes 7:2, and reflect on how you are living.  Ray always said that he wanted to live in such a way that when he met Jesus, he would hear the words “Well done, good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:21).  May we all live in a way that will bring us that ultimate joy of knowing that we have pleased our Father in heaven.

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Michele and I recently experienced a death in our extended family – not someone we were close to, but an important person to some of the people we are close to – and it highlighted again for me the contrast between the death of someone who knew God the way Ray did and the death of someone who might not have known God.  Not to mention, of course, how those who know God cope with death compared to how those who do not believe in a God cope with the finality of death.  So for all who have struggled with a recent loss, I thought I would briefly recap the three Biblical truths about death which I had preached on back on November 9th of last year during the “Death and the Life after that” series:

1) Death is an enemy

Those of you with elderly parents or grandparents, or who work with the elderly, know that there is nothing glamorous about death.  For those who live a long life, the dying process is a painful, dehumanizing thing that is the cause of a great deal of pain and anguish for all involved.  And when someone dies well before their time, it is even worse, leaving us to question God and to despair at the tragic loss of what might have been. 

It is clear, and the Bible does not minimize the fact, that death is an enemy.  It also, importantly, was not God’s intention in the beginning.  Listen to Genesis 2:15-17:

The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. And the LORD God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die.”

And now, because of sin, all die:  “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 6:23).  Death is an enemy, something evil that was not intended from the beginning.  Losing any life is a tragic thing, and we should never minimize the heartache, the countless nights of crying, the hole in your heart that may never go away.  , For all who are grieving, I hope you will see the profound beauty and comfort in knowing that even Jesus wept when his friend Lazarus died (even though he would soon raise him from the dead).  Whatever your pain, Jesus weeps alongside of you for the evil that is death.  But I also want you to take comfort in this second reality about death:

2) Death has been defeated by Jesus Christ

Were there ever any sweeter words?  Death is an enemy, a terrible evil, but praise God, it is not the final word.  Some day God will destroy death forever, and this reversal began when Jesus died on the cross and experienced Hell, separation from God, in order to reverse the Curse and destroy the power of death:

But we see Jesus, who was made a little lower than the angels, now crowned with glory and honor because he suffered death, so that by the grace of God he might taste death for everyone…Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might destroy him who holds the power of death — that is, the devil– and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death (Hebrews 2:9,14-15).

Jesus tasted death for everyone for three reasons, according to this passage: so that we will not die, so that Satan would be destroyed, and so that we would be freed from our fear of death.  Adam’s sin brought death upon the human race, but Christ’s death brings new life, resurrection, to all who believe (1 Corinthians 15:19-26).  And so now we can say, as Paul wrote, “Death has been swallowed up in victory.”  “Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?” The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ” (1 Corinthians 15:55-57). 

Death has forever lost its sting, thanks to Jesus Christ.  And at the end of time, death, the last enemy, will finally be destroyed forever:  “There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away” (Revelation 20:4; see also Revelation 20:13-15).

So what does this reality about death mean for us?

3) For those who die in Christ Jesus, it is like falling asleep and waking up in eternity

The most popular expression for death in the Bible is “falling asleep”:  “Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope” (1 Thessalonians 4:13 -18).  If that is the case, then while we may grieve for the loss we have experienced, we do not grieve for the one who has died in Christ, because they have simply fallen asleep and woken up in the arms of Jesus.  As Jesus said in John 11:25-26, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?”  And again in John 8:51:  “I tell you the truth, if anyone keeps my word, he will never see death.” What a beautiful thing to know, that for all who die in Christ Jesus, it is like falling asleep and waking up in the arms of Jesus.

Death is an enemy, but it has been defeated by Jesus Christ, so that for those who die in Jesus, it is like falling asleep and waking up in eternity.  The majesty of this reality was captured beautifully by the poet John Donne in his poem “Death, Be Not Proud”:

DEATH be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadfull, for, thou art not so,
For, those, whom thou think’st, thou dost overthrow,
Die not, poore death, nor yet canst thou kill me.
From rest and sleepe, which but thy pictures bee,
Much pleasure, then from thee, much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee doe goe,
Rest of their bones, and soules deliverie.
Thou art slave to Fate, Chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poyson, warre, and sicknesse dwell,
And poppie, or charmes can make us sleepe as well,
And better then thy stroake; why swell’st thou then;
One short sleepe past, wee wake eternally,
And death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die.

Thank you Lord for overcoming sin and death, and we continue to pray for your comfort and hope and gratitude to overcome all who are mourning today.  Amen.

Ruth Skinner died early this morning.  Her daughter, Mary Grove, has been a long time member of NewLife, and Ruth and Mary lived together for most of their life, including the last two years at Glastonbury Health Care Center.  Ruth had been suffering from cancer, and died peacefully in her sleep during the night. 

As a small and fairly young congregation, funerals tend to be pretty infrequent around our church.  I remember being a part of two during my time as youth pastor a few years ago, but I probably am involved in five weddings for every funeral.  But whenever there is a death, the first Bible verse that always comes to mind is the aforementioned verse from Ecclesiastes 7:2.  At first glance, the verse seems to paint a picture of God as the stereotypical killjoy who wants to ruin everyone’s fun and make sure no one is having a good time.  It is better to go to a funeral than to a party?  How many people do you know that plan for their weekend by browsing the obituaries for a good funeral to attend instead of looking for a good movie or concert to catch? 

It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting.  In The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey famously said to “Begin with the end in mind.”  He encouraged his readers to picture their funeral, and to imagine what they would like people to be saying about their life.  What kind of husband or wife, father or mother, friend or working associate would you like their words to reflect?  Every time I find myself in a house of mourning, two things that really matter are brought into sharp focus:  “How would I want to be remembered when I die?” and “Is the way I’m living my life right now in line with that goal?”

Of course, above those two questions is an even bigger question:  “What will happen when I die?”  As the verse from Ecclesiastes ends, “for death is the destiny of every man; the living should take this to heart.”  Our society seems to live as if it wants to push death as far away as possible.  From all the anti-aging products and services to even all the plastic surgery options, the clear message seems to be to stay young as long as possible and to try not to contemplate your own mortality.  Now, there is certainly nothing wrong with trying to live a healthy life and attempting to maintain a high quality of life for as long as possible, but it has to coupled with a sober recognition that death is inevitable, and that it is critical to understand what will happen when you die.

The message of the Bible is that all people are destined to die once and then to face judgment by a holy God (Hebrews 9:27).  And this judgment will decide whether you spend all of eternity in the presence of God or separated from God and everything that is good.  The Bible is also clear that as long as you’ve lived a perfect life, you should have nothing to worry about on that day.  On the other hand, if you’ve fallen short in any way, if you failed to love God with all your heart and to love your neighbor as yourself perfectly, then you are deserving of Hell, eternal separation from a holy God who can not stand in the presence of sin (Romans 6:23).

The good news is that our loving God was not willing to let that separation be the last word for His beloved creation, but He sent His son Jesus to live the perfect life that we could not live, to die a sacrificial death to pay the penalty for our sins, and to open a way back into a relationship with God (John 3:16).  Jesus said that “this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent” (John 17:2).  Eternal life is more than just life after death; it is a relationship with God that produces in those connected to God a quality of life that is beyond anything this world has to offer.  It begins at the moment of conversion, and reaches its full potential when we die and are brought into the presence of God.  And this eternal life is available to all who would turn from their sins and call Jesus their Lord and Savior. 

If you are skeptical about the above explanation of what happens when you die, you owe it to yourself to heed the words of the writer of Ecclesiastes and “take to heart” the fact that you will one day die.  What will happen when you die?  Was Jesus right?  Or is there really no meaning to life, just a final death that erases your existence?  There is perhaps no more important question in life than this one:  in the light of your inevitable death, how then shall you live?

And if you believe that gospel with all your heart, then are you living in the light of the eternal life you’ve been given?  The Tim McGraw song urges you to “live like you were dying.”  But what would it look like to live as if you were going to live forever in the presence of God?  What would it look like to truly be a citizen of heaven and not earth, to store up treasure in heaven and not here, to keep the reality of eternity and judgment in mind in your relationships with others?

If you are attending Ruth’s funeral this Saturday, or if you find yourself in a house of mourning in the near future, remember the words of the writer of Ecclesiastes.  It is better to be in that place of mourning then to spend your life partying in an attempt to forget about your mortality.  It is a good thing to be reminded of what really matters, and to be reminded again of how amazing our God is, that He overcame even death.   As Paul put it so well in 1 Corinthians 15:54-55, “Death has been swallowed up in victory.  Where, O death, is your victory?  Where, O death, is your sting?”  Thank you Jesus for the eternal life you’ve given to us.