Something that I found helpful in understanding how our desires can lead to conflict and what a more Biblical way to handle our frustrated desires might be comes from Dr. Paul David Tripp.  Dr. Tripp contrasts what he calls the “Slippery Slope of Idolatry” with the “Cycle of Faith.” Putting this sort of thing in diagram form can seem slightly mechanical, but can help to put into words what goes on naturally inside of us when our desires are frustrated, and what an alternate, God-honoring response would be. 

Both the Slippery Slope of Idolatry and the Cycle of Faith begin with a desire, such as “I would like to have this person give me what I am asking for.”  When that desire is not met, our response leads us to either honor God or to cling to our idol:

 
Slippery Slope of Idolatry

Demands:  “I must have what I am asking for.” 

Expectations:  “This person must give me what I am asking for”

Disappointment:  “This person did not give me what I demand and expect from him”

Judgment:  “Because this person disappointed me by not giving me what I demanded and expected, he is stupid and selfish”

Punishment:  “I will punish this person by telling others how stupid and selfish he is”

Cycle of Faith

Trust God:  “I will continue to trust God because He is the source of my identity, and I will seek my approval from him rather than from men.  I believe He will provide me with everything I need”

Disappointment:  “I did not receive what I wanted from this person”

Grief:  “I am sad that I did not receive what I wanted form that person”

Reconciliation:  “I will glorify God in this disappointment by confessing my critical, judgmental attitudes, words, and actions to God and to this person, gently showing him where I think he has been wrong, and forgiving him and seeking to repair our relationship.”
 

When we hold on to desires tighter than we do our desire to honor God, we create idols that we must have, that become our source of life and meaning, when only God can truly fulfill that role.  Whether it is a desire for the approval of others, for peace and comfort in our lives, for the unconditional love of another person, for leaders who care for us, for the freedom to do what we want to do, for power and control over others, or for something else, when those desires are frustrated, our response often reveals who really is our God, the number one thing we desire in our lives.  Is it God and His honor, no matter what He chooses to give or not give to us?  Or is it our desire, that we demand that God give to us or else?  One of the most important things you can do in life is to identify those idols and to submit them to God, putting your trust and hope in Him instead of in those other things, which in the end will not save you or give you what you are looking for. 

One of my favorite verses comes from Jonah 2:8 – “Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs.”  In the end, the desires of this world that cause us so much conflict can be worthless idols, causing us to lose out on the grace of God, that unconditional love and acceptance and life that we find in Him.  Smash your idols and choose to glorify God instead when your desires are frustrated.

This past Sunday I shared from Matthew 18 about forgiving those who have hurt us.  There are few things harder in life than extending forgiveness to someone who has wounded us, because to forgive someone is essentially to suffer twice.  The first time, you suffer because of something that is done to you; the second time, you willingly choose to suffer by forgiving instead of making the other person suffer by taking revenge on them.  But in the end, forgiveness is the only way to freedom, the only way to not let our heart become hard or our spirit become bitter and angry. 

Forgiveness is a process, one that can take years for the person who has endured significant abuse or betrayal at the hands of another person.  I ended this past week’s sermon by encouraging everyone to take a step towards forgiving another person, and gave five possible steps to take.  I wanted to use this space to elaborate on that by briefly sharing about eight possible steps that you take towards forgiveness and freedom.

1) Decide you are not going to kill someone – Sometimes, that is the best you can do.  And sometimes, that in and of itself is a miracle.  If that is where you are at, then I applaud you for that decision.

2) Decide that you want to work towards forgiving someone – Many people walk around with hurts that have been stuffed down, way down, inside.  Perhaps you have found a way to cope with your pain, to get through the day to day, but only because you have developed elaborate defense mechanisms that allow you to keep your pain stuffed down.  God wants more for you than that – He wants you to be free, and that only comes through forgiveness.  Maybe a step you can take is to decide you want to begin the process of forgiving the person who offended you instead of ignoring it and hoping it goes away.

3) Pray for them – Often, when you have been hurt, you can’t even stand to be in the same room as the other person.  Thankfully, you don’t have to be near them to pray for them.  Jesus tells us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us (Matthew 5:44), and sometimes the best thing you can do for your heart and spirit is to pray for the person who wronged you.  And I don’t mean “God, please smite them down, and preferably in a very public and painful way,” but “God, I pray that you would bless this person and increase their understanding of your love and grace, that they might be transformed to be more like you.”

4) Do an unexpected act of kindness for them – when someone knows he has hurt you, he is probably waiting for your revenge.  But if you believe that God is the judge, you know that visiting justice on the offender is not your job.  Your job is to love your enemies, to overcome evil with good (Romans 12:21).  I was driving someone home the other day when she spotted someone with whom she had a conflict walking home by herself.  My friend instinctively hid her face, so the other woman would not see her.  What if instead we had pulled over and offered the woman a ride?  Would that not have possibly lessened the tension and brought good will between them?  Maybe for the good of your heart, the best thing you can do is to do an unexpected act of kindness for someone who least deserves it.

5) Pray and entrust them to God, the only wise judge – Peter writes that Jesus, when he was wronged, entrusted himself to Him who judges justly instead of retaliating (1 Peter 2:23).  What if, instead of dwelling on what the other person did and thinking of ways to make them pay, you spent some time in prayer with God and, in your imagination, lifted the person up to God, entrusting him or her to the one who alone has the right and the perspective to judge.  And then leave the person there, in the capable hands of the Judge of the universe, so that you can be free to love and do good to them.

6) Remember the depth of your sin and the undeserved forgiveness that is over you – Nobody deserves your forgiveness.  If someone has hurt you, betrayed you, or let you down, they deserve to be punished.  Your natural inclination to hurt someone back is just that, the natural thing to do.  So why don’t you do it?  Because the offense that has been visited upon you is nothing compared to your offense against God.  Jesus’ parable in Matthew 18:21-35 makes that clear, that through the death of Jesus on the cross, our debt, which we could never repay through any amount of piety or good works, was completely cancelled by God.  We stand here as people who deserved death but have been given freedom and new life.  And we are forever changed by that amazing grace.  Now, we have the privilege of doing the same to others, pronouncing “not guilty” when they deserve punishment, giving them just a small picture of the grace that is offered in Jesus.  The more you reflect on how much you’ve been forgiven, the easier it becomes to forgive.

7) Stop talking to other people about what someone did to you – When someone hurts us, most of us immediately want to tell other people what has been done, in order to garner sympathy and get people on our side, outraged at what the offender has done.  There may be a small number of people with whom you should process hurts, so that you can find the resolve to forgive and do good to them.  But often, we just share with people who are not involved and can not help the situation, simply out of a desire for retaliation, to tear the other person down.  Perhaps the step you need to take is to seriously examine your motives regarding who you talk to, and to stop talking to some of those people if your motives are not right.

8) Tell someone that you forgive them – And maybe there is someone who needs to hear those beautiful words, “I forgive you.”  I think that so many of us long for a fresh start, to know that the past is in the past and that we can begin again, trying harder to do what is right and to rebuild broken relationships.  If you have been withholding forgiveness from someone, maybe it is time to tell them that you forgive them for what they have done to you, that the past is in the past, and that you will no longer hold those offenses against them.

If you have been hurt, I am sorry for the suffering that you have experienced, and I am sorry that in order to find freedom from the pain, you will have to suffer again by forgiving the offender.  Remember that forgiving someone is not condoning what they have done, but declaring that even though what they have done was wrong, you will pay down the debt yourself and will not punish them for what they have done, just as in Christ you have not been punished for your offenses against God.  Take a step towards freedom and peace today by deciding to take a step towards forgiveness.

The word of the LORD came to Jonah son of Amittai: “Go to the great city of Nineveh and preach against it, because its wickedness has come up before me.”  But Jonah ran away from the LORD and headed for Tarshish.
-Jonah 1:1-3

The Book of Jonah does not waste any time getting down to business.  It starts off with God calling Jonah to do something, followed by Jonah’s disobedience and attempt to flee from the Lord.  All of this in the first three verses.  God was calling Jonah to preach to the wicked people of Nineveh and to inform them of their sinful nature.  But instead of following the Lord’s command and possibly leading a city to repentance, Jonah decides to flee as far as possible in the opposite direction to Tarshish, a city thought to be in south eastern Spain.  Why did Jonah not answer the Lord’s call?  And why did he think that he could even flee from God and His calling? 

Jonah could have taken flight for fear of the Ninevites and what they might do to him.  Nineveh was the capital of Assyria, a brutal nation notorious for its cruelty and viciousness during its conquests of nations.  They would burn the villages they conquered, raping the women and pillaging the town in the progress.  They often tortured the villagers and deported them to foreign places far from their home lands.  Assyria attacked many Israelite cities and towns and this sinful nature filled the Lord with anger.  So much so that the entire book of Nahum is about the wrath and destruction that the Lord is going to bring on Nineveh.  And so for a Jew to go to the wicked city of Nineveh and preach to them was like a man going into the lion’s den.  Or perhaps a more fitting modern analogy would be a Jew going to Auschwitz, Germany during the height of World War II.  Although fear from the Ninevites is an understandable reason why Jonah would flee, the rest of the story does not seem to imply that.  However, it is important to recognize the wickedness and cruelty that Nineveh showed to the Israelites. 

So after calamity falls upon Jonah when he flees from the Lord, and after he gets eaten and then spit up by a large fish, the Lord calls him again to go to Nineveh and preach to them there (Jonah 3:2).  This time Jonah obeys and Nineveh responds to the message and repents of their evil ways (for now).  And it is here that we find out Jonah’s real reason for fleeing from God’s call in the first place.  Jonah’s response to Nineveh’s repentance is this:  “But Jonah was greatly displeased and became angry. He prayed to the LORD, “O LORD, is this not what I said when I was still at home? That is why I was so quick to flee to Tarshish. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity” (Jonah 4:1-2).  Jonah did not want God to have compassion on the Ninevites; but rather wanted them destroyed for the evil they did against the Israelites.  He knew that God was full of love and compassion, and Jonah did not want to see the Lord “relent from sending calamity” on the Ninevites (Jonah 4:2).  So Jonah thought if he fled far away from Nineveh that the Lord’s plan of redemption for the evil city would be thwarted. 

Reflecting on the sermon this past Sunday, I find a similarity between the two lessons.  The sermon discussed our need to take action when we wrong someone or when someone wrongs us.  Jesus says that if you “remember that your brother has something against you” that you should “first go and be reconciled to your brother” (Matthew 5:23-24).  Additionally, Jesus says that “if your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault” (Matthew 18:15).  These are not mere suggestions from Jesus, but commands, similar to the command that God issued to Jonah.  But many times, instead of responding to the call of repentance, we delay it, perhaps because we want the other person who wronged us to suffer more.  Or maybe we think that we are worthy and capable of being the judge in this matter.  Or perhaps we deem that our offender does not deserve forgiveness or does not deserve it until a set of conditions are met.  The fact of the matter is that this type of reaction is exactly how Jonah responds to God’s first calling.  He deliberately disobeyed God, desiring that his plan for Nineveh (namely, its destruction) should be carried out instead of God’s plan for repentance.  And just like further calamity entered Jonah’s life as a result of not answering God’s call, we too may face further conflict due to a heart unwilling to reconcile with our brother or sister.  Our hearts can sometimes be stubborn like Jonah’s was, and we can believe as a result that we know what the best course of action is, not God. 

It is in these times that we need to remember that God forgave us though we did not deserve it.  We need to recall that “when we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to Him through the death of His Son” (Romans 5:10).  Furthermore, Jesus says that “the Father judges no one, but has entrusted all judgment to the Son” and continues saying “my judgment is just, for I seek not to please myself but Him who sent me” (John 5:22, 30).  Jesus is the only one worthy and capable of judging because He is without sin and bias. 

For many of us, it is time to stop being concerned with what the other person deserves or whether he deserves forgiveness or not.  Our focus instead should be on what Jesus wants for us.  And what He wants is for us to be united (John 17:21), to love one another (John 15:12), to live in peace with one another (Romans 12:18), and be joined in a united effort against the enemy (1 Peter 5:9).  The enemy seeks to divide and conquer and he can accomplish that through stubborn hearts not willing to obey God’s call of forgiveness.  But the Lord seeks strong unity among the brothers and sisters, knowing that a unified family will stand stronger against the enemy than one divided.

Now, I am not saying to forgive just for the sake of forgiveness.  It might take time for some wounds to heal.  But we should not delay forgiving our offender just because we don’t think they deserve it.  Rather than letting bitterness and anger reign in our hearts, we need to be willing to let God heal those wounds so that we can seek reconciliation with our brother or sister.  We should strive to give up our stubborn hearts and replace them with humble ones.  We should seek repentance with one another instead of making our own judgments on who deserves forgiveness, remembering God forgave us when we did not deserve it.  We need to give up our right to get what we think we may rightfully deserve (blessed are the meek, remember?) and instead seek to love one another as God loves us.  We are called to repent of our stubborn, selfish hearts and start obeying our Lord’s command to live united with our brothers and sisters and serve them in love, whether we think they deserve it or not.  I pray that we do not respond like Jonah initially did and flee from God, but instead that we may run to Him and embrace our brothers and sisters with love and a humble, repentant heart.  God, grant us the courage and strength to humbly “consider others better than [ourselves]” and to “not only look to [our] own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Philippians 2:3-4).

If there were ever a verse that has been my unintentional life verse, it is Proverbs 19:11.  I have forever been the “that’s okay” guy, shrugging it off as people do everything short of taking a baseball bat to my car.  “Stole my wallet?  That’s okay.”  “Punched me in the face?  No big deal.”  “Burned my house down?  That’s alright – I’ll get another.”  Overlooking offenses is what I do.

Case in point:  when I was a youth pastor, I was blessed to have some very large high school kids as part of the youth group which met at my house.  One kid in particular, my good friend Carl, went about 6 foot 7, 330 in high school, and during his youth group years proceeded to break 12 folding chairs, a couch, one closet door (dunking on a nerf basketball hoop), a spatula (over someone else’s knee), the struts on my car (when I added a couple of other 250 pounders to my back seat and went a little too fast over a speed bump), and 2 windows in my house (technically it was my back that broke one of them as Carl backed me into the window).  And after every disaster, my answer was always the same.

“That’s okay.”

Now, there is something noble, as Proverbs 19:11 says, about being able to overlook offenses.  It does take a great deal of patience and longsuffering to be able to let things go without seeking retribution.  However, I have found that it also takes wisdom and discernment to know when not to overlook but instead to hold someone accountable for what he or she has done.  Where do you draw the line between punishing someone for every little thing they do wrong, and overlooking even the worst offenses?  Consider asking the following two questions as you discern whether or not to overlook an offense:

(1) What is my motivation, whether in demanding accountability or in overlooking the offense?  When I say “that’s okay” to those who have offended me, is it out of genuine forgiveness and charity, or am I just avoiding confrontation?  When I overlook, do I find that there is there a spirit of bitterness growing in me to which I need to pay attention?  Conversely, if I am demanding accountability, is it because I want the person to grow in maturity, or because I desire retribution and want to see the other person suffer for what they have done to me? 

(2) What is the loving thing to do for the offender – to overlook their offense, or hold to account?  If someone is acting in a destructive way and I say “that’s okay,” I may think that I am being charitable and forgiving, but in reality I may be giving that person permission to act destructively with other people as well.  On the other hand, if I punish someone for even the smallest of offenses, I may be displaying a lack of grace and punishing others for things that I don’t even hold myself accountable.

This Sunday, we’ll be continuing our series on peacemaking by looking at the issue of confronting in love, including when and how to confront, and when to overlook offenses.  If you have any thoughts or insights to share on confronting and overlooking, please post a comment.

Most importantly, however, that event reminded me how much I love my wife and how desperately I never want something like that to happen to our family.  I don’t think it’s possible to communicate to someone who has not been in a ministry family just what it is like being married to a pastor, but just to give you an idea, let me share some of the “Pastor’s wife” titles I found in a quick search on Amazon.com:

I’m more than the pastor’s wife:  authentic living in a fishbowl world
The sweetness of a bitter cup:  journey of a pastor’s wife
A life embraced:  a hopeful guide for the pastor’s wife
The pastor’s wife does cry!

And, of course:

Help!  I’m a pastor’s wife!

Frightening titles, no?  Seriously, is there another job out there that demands such intimate involvement on the part of a man’s family or invites such scrutiny?  Besides perhaps the President of the United States?  The difference is, of course, that the President can have an affair and still keep his job!  But for the pastor and his family, like the book said, it can be fishbowl living, with everyone on the outside looking in at you, each with their own expectations of how you should live. 

It is not important to go into detail of all that is involved in being a part of the pastor’s family, but what I really want to do is just say a big thank you to my wife – and every pastor’s wife for that matter – for being who she is.  I would not be a quarter of the man or the pastor I am without her.  She loves me even when I don’t deserve it, serves me even when I am self-centered, and always challenges me to be my best, to never settle.  She is a passionate woman who takes the call of God on our lives to love and serve the people of NewLife very seriously, and she is darn good at it.  I am in awe daily of all that she allows Jesus to do through her. 

The second event of the last two days was our seventh anniversary on Monday.  As I reflect on our marriage, I praise God for His promise that “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:6).  Even before our marriage, God began a good work when He brought us together.  We come from very different backgrounds, with very different personalities, but together have challenged and encouraged each other to a deeper relationship with God.  And though we are far from perfect, we cling to our God through the hard times and the good times, knowing that He is true to His promises and is doing something beautiful in and through us. 

So here’s to the Pastor’s wife.  I love you, Michele.

The one word Pastor Driscoll uses to sum up what it means to be a man is this:  responsibility.  As someone who has often struggled to be the man, the husband, and father I want to be, that word has been resonating with me ever since watching the sermon.  Pastor Driscoll talked about how in the garden, Adam was the one who was held responsible for the sin, even though Eve was the first one deceived; witness Romans 5:12 - Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all men, because all sinned.  More importantly, Jesus, the perfect man, took responsibility for the sin of the world, even though none of it was his fault.  A real man is a man who takes responsibility – responsibility for his family, for providing for his family, for his wife, for seeing that his kids are raised to know the Lord.  Responsibility in the church, at work, and even around the house.  A real man who sees his wife struggling makes it his responsibility to get involved in helping make things right.  A real man who sees his children walking down the wrong path makes it his responsibility to get involved.  A real man who sees his church moving in the wrong direction steps up and sacrifices until it looks like the holy bride of Christ.  A real man is a man who does not expect everyone to do everything for him, but takes responsibility.  And like Jesus, even when something happens that is not his fault, he is willing to incarnate himself in the situation and take responsibility to make things right. 

1 Peter 3:7 says “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.”  Interesting consequences, no?  Pastor Driscoll puts it this way in his sermon – Peter says that if a husband does not treat their wife with respect, “God does not listen to him.”  Later on he preaches,

“You are dating, marrying, God’s daughter.  Do you really think you can hit her, neglect her, abuse her, impregnate her outside of marriage, put your hands all over her, lie to her, manipulate her, and then cry out to God ‘help me?’  God says ‘No way.  You don’t love my daughter, I don’t serve you.  You don’t honor my daughter, I don’t honor you.  You are on your own’… I tell you as a father, if you hurt my girl, and then ask for help to do it some more, your prayer will not be answered.”

Pastor Driscoll has a way of speaking to men that might offend some, but I found very appropriate and challenging.  He admitted that you can speak differently to men than you do to women, in a much more direct manner, and there are times (especially the last 10 minutes of the sermon) where he even yells at the men in his congregation.  But it is effective, and I as challenged by how he essentially called men to account, challenging them to grow up, to put aside boyhood ways and become a responsible adult, to treat women with honor, to serve and protect and love.  It is a high calling to be a man of God, and a significant challenge for those of us who have so often not lived up to the perfect man, Jesus.  But I’m thankful that someone out there is challenging men to be real men of honor, and I for one pray that I would become a man of responsibility and that our church would be made up of men who take responsibility – in their spiritual lives, in the church, in the workplace, in their community, and especially in their home.

In each of my friends there is something that only some other friend can fully bring out.  By myself I am not large enough to call the whole man into activity; I want other lights than my own to show all his facets.  Now that Charles is dead, I shall never again see Ronald’s reaction to a specifically Caroline joke.  Far from having more of Ronald, having him ‘to myself’ now that Charles is away, I have less of Ronald.  Hence true Friendship is the least jealous of loves.  Two friends delight to be joined by a third, and three by a fourth, if only the newcomer is qualified to become a real friend.  They can then say, as the blessed souls say in Dante, ‘Here comes one who will augment our loves’… In this, Friendship exhibits a glorious ‘nearness by resemblance’ to Heaven itself where the very multitude of the blessed (which no man can number) increases the fruition which each has of God.  For every soul, seeing Him in her own way, doubtless communicates that unique vision to all the rest.  That, says an old author, is why the Seraphim in Isaiah’s vision are crying ‘Holy, Holy, Holy’ to one another (Isaiah 6:3).  The more we thus share the Heavenly Bread between us, the more we all have.

There are so many beautiful insights in this passage.  His words about knowing and enjoying someone more fully when we can see them from not only our own perspective and interactions but the perspective of and interaction with others is so true.  Think of the girl who loves her boyfriend and thinks she knows all about him until one day she sees him with all his guy friends, and comes back saying, “I never knew that side of you existed!”  Or what is revealed about a person when you watch them in the context of their family as opposed to by themselves at work or at church.  I know that I have friends who bring out my playful side and others who bring out my competitive side; some who engage my brain while others who engage my heart and soul.  Each person brings out different aspects of who we are, and the more we share our friends with others, the better we know them.

But what is even more incredible about this passage is the analogy he makes to our relationship with God.  I have my own perspective of God, which has been gained through my experience, by listening to those who have taught me, and by what God has revealed to me.  But there are other aspects of His character that, while I may know them to be true intellectually, others can communicate with much more depth and insight because of their experience.  For example, I know that God is my provider, that He tells me to seek first His kingdom and that He will provide for my needs (Matthew 6:33).  But I have never been down to my last penny, totally dependent on God to come through.  And so every time I hear someone share a testimony of being in that vulnerable place and experiencing God’s miraculous provision, it strengthens my faith and encourages me that “God is my provider” is more than just a theological statement. 

Lewis’ words reveal why it is so dangerous to reduce your faith to a relationship between you and God, or you and God and a couple of Bible teachers that you like, instead of engaging with many other believers on a heart level.  When we only have our perspective, or the perspective of one or two teachers, we limit our experience and knowledge of God.  How do you really know that God can miraculously heal unless you meet someone who has been healed by God?  How do you really know that God can save the very worst of sinners unless you know someone who fits that profile?  How do you really know that God can redeem a broken marriage unless you hear from someone who has experienced God do that very thing?  You can know all of those things on an intellectual level, but as the people of God testify to each other about the God they worship, our vision of Him expands and our faith grows tremendously.

This Sunday, I will be wrapping up my series on Biblical assurance and how you can know that you have eternal life, that what you call faith is genuine saving faith.  My plan is to preach a brief summary, and then to open it up for testimonies from the congregation of what God has been doing in their lives through this series.  While “open mic” time is always a bit risky, since you never know who will say what (or for how long they will say it…), I am almost always blessed and encouraged by what people have to say.  It is always a reminder to me that in addition to Biblical teaching, it is so valuable to hear the testimonies of others as to how God has been applying the spoken Word to their daily life.  So, I would encourage you that if God has been working in your life during this series, please come and share so that our faith might be strengthened and our vision of God expanded.  And if there has been nothing worth testifying about, come and listen and be blessed.

The impact that study had made on those teens was one of the reasons I wanted to do a sermon series with the whole church. However, as I studied the book, read commentaries, and listened to other sermons on the Song of Solomon, I found myself moving away from the Tommy Nelson-style of preaching, which in many ways treated the book as a how-to manual for Biblical love, dating, and marriage. The more I meditated on the book, the less I felt it was meant to be read as a how-to manual. I still felt, however, that there were valuable lessons to be learned from the book, and that the book would make a good springboard from which to talk about the rest of the Bible’s counsel on love, sex, and marriage.

One of the preachers I listened to as I prepared for the series was Mark Driscoll, pastor of Mars Hill Church in Seattle, Washington. Pastor Driscoll is a very influential and dynamic preacher and leader who has founded and grown a huge church in the midst of a very non-Christian city, and the timing of his Song of Solomon series was great as it gave me another voice to listen to as I prepared to do a series of my own. Pastor Driscoll has also become immortalized as “Mark the cussing pastor” by Donald Miller in Blue Like Jazz, as Pastor Driscoll is a funny individual who speaks to a crowd of mainly 20 & 30-somethings, and on occasion crosses the line of decency in the words he uses. In my opinion, Driscoll’s series, called “The Peasant Princess,” had lots of good insights but again fell too much into the “how-to manual” approach in my opinion for me to base my series on.

I bring up Mark Driscoll because this past week, John MacArthur, pastor of Grace Community Church in Sun Valley, California and author of numerous books, including the MacArthur Study Bible, rebuked Driscoll and his method of preaching on the Song of Solomon, as well as the preponderance of ‘sex sermons’ in churches these days with four lengthy blog posts entitled “The Rape of Solomon’s Song.” If you are interested, you are welcome to listen to Driscoll’s sermons hereat and to read MacArthur’s critique here. Since we just completed our series last month, and since I have made similar observations about church “sex series” over the past year (see the February 10th, 2009 and July 8th, 2008 posts), I thought it would be worth reflecting on some of the objections MacArthur raises.

“Apparently the shortest route to relevance in church ministry right now is for the pastor to talk about sex in garishly explicit terms during the Sunday morning service… Sermons about sex have suddenly become a bigger fad in the evangelical world than the prayer of Jabez ever was. Everywhere, it seems, churches are featuring special series on the subject. Some of them advertise with suggestive billboards purposely designed to offend their communities’ conservative sensibilities.”

I made this point in my February 10th, 2009 post. The motivation to preach on sex often seems to be that it can be the fastest way to get people’s attention and grow your church, not to glorify God or correct false teaching on love and sex being preached by the culture or by the church. I know I needed to check my motivation before preaching to be sure it wasn’t why I was preaching on the Song of Solomon.

“But the language Scripture employs when dealing with the physical relationship between husband and wife is always careful—often plain, sometimes poetic, usually delicate, frequently muted by euphemisms, and never fully explicit… [Song of Solomon] is, of course, a lengthy poem about courtship and marital love. It is filled with euphemisms and word pictures. Its whole point is gently, subtly, and elegantly to express the emotional and physical intimacy of marital love—in language suitable for any audience… Tom Gledhill wisely sums up this point in his IVP commentary on Song of Solomon (pp. 29-31): To unpack metaphors and unwrap euphemisms [in Song of Solomon] may mean that our thoughts spiral out of control, and we end up by committing adultery in our imaginations. So if the interpretation of Scripture proves to be a stumbling block, and a cause of offence to some who believe, what then? . . . Once a particular line of interpretation has been suggested, it is difficult to avoid seeing explicit sexual allusions everywhere, until the whole work becomes saturated in references to genitalia, intercourse and explicit sex.”

As I prepared to preach on the Song of Solomon, I came to the realization that there would be no value in trying to figure out every metaphor or guess at what body parts and actions the writer might be referring to. There is a reason the Song of Solomon is written as veiled metaphor, and to try to explain each allusion robs the song of its beauty and purpose and can turn it into something that causes men and women to stumble. I’m thankful I came to this conclusion, even as I listened to many sermons or read commentaries that sought to explain every little metaphor. The overarching themes of servant love, covenantal marriage, and the need for grace and forgiveness, were ultimately what deserved the greatest attention.

“We’re assured [in these sermons] moreover that the shocking hidden meanings of these texts aren’t merely descriptive; they are prescriptive. The secret gnosis of Solomon’s Song portray obligatory acts wives must do if this is what satisfies their husbands, regardless of the wife’s own desire or conscience.”

This point that Pastor MacArthur made was unfair in that he was referring to an older sermon by Pastor Driscoll where he preached the things described in Song of Solomon as things God commands people to do, instead of the most recent series where he was careful to say that the book is descriptive, not prescriptive. Nevertheless, the point remains that Song of Solomon is a book describing love between a man and a woman, and is not a set of laws on what we can or can not do in a relationship. It describes a love relationship from which we can learn a great deal, but does not require us to do what they do.

One of the things I gained most from Pastor MacArthur’s evaluation of current preaching on sex and the Song of Solomon was the importance of preaching and speaking in order to honor God rather than please men. Getting graphic in discussion of love and sex and even making jokes might win you the laughter of man, but in the end gains nothing if it compromises the beauty of what God intended or the sanctity of the pulpit. In the end, it is best to keep in mind the words of Paul:

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (Ephesians 4:29)

But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person– such a man is an idolater– has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. (Ephesians 5:3-5)

Any thoughts? If you were a part of the Song of Solomon series, do you feel it was edifying and God-honoring? Or were there ways in which it crossed the line into something that was not appropriate for God’s church? If you have any feedback, feel free to email or call me or post a comment.

“Gone on any dates recently?”

“So, when are you going to get married?” 

Are there any more annoying questions for the single person than these (usually asked by well-meaning relatives, of course)?  It is not easy to be single, especially in a world that sees marriage as something to which all normal and reasonable normal people should aspire.  And the church does not always help, often focusing heavily on married families and causing the unmarried to feel pretty invisible.

But the Biblical perception of singlehood is far different and much more respectful.  The two greatest figures of the New Testament, of course, were Jesus and Paul, and both were unmarried.  And listen to what Paul has to say to those who are single: 

“Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion… Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are. Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this… I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs– how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world– how he can please his wife– and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world– how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord” (1 Corinthians 7:8-9, 25-28, 32-35). 

It is good to be single – that’s the clear message from Paul.  More than that, it may even be more desirable than being married for those who truly want to serve God, because your interests will not be divided between the Lord and your spouse (not to mention when kids come along).  However, as Paul said, this teaching is not for everyone.  After all, it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Jesus seemed to agree with Paul.  During one conversation with his disciples, he was discussing divorce, and his disciples came to the conclusion that perhaps it is better not to marry.  This is how Jesus replied:  “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.” (Matthew 19:11-12)  Jesus seems to be saying that some who wish to give themselves wholeheartedly to the kingdom of God have renounced marriage, choosing instead to live completely for God.

This does not mean, of course, that being married is wrong or that raising a family is not also the work of God.  When a marriage is done right, it can lead to even greater ministry, and raising godly children can multiply impact for the kingdom of God.  What the words of Paul and Jesus do mean, however, is that instead of assuming that marriage should be the goal of every normal, reasonable person, it would be wise for the single person to first ask whether marriage is indeed God’s best for his or her life.  After all, if it was good enough for Paul and Jesus, then maybe it could be good enough for you too.

One of the other challenges for me through this process has been to check my motives, because in our culture, sex sells, and a church talking about sex is a great marketing strategy that can often increase church attendance.  Let me give a few examples I have seen.  One organization, xxxchurch.com, which ministers to those trapped in pornography, came up with “National Porn Sunday,” where churches can spend that Sunday combating the false teaching in that area and replacing it with teaching on the beauty of purity.  And every year, the papers will do an article on churches who decide to join xxxchurch in their crusade.

Increasingly, there are more and more examples of churches that don’t just teach on sex but turn it into a marketing strategy.  Recently, there were two prominent churches who made news for putting out sex challenges to the married couples in their congregation.  Ed Young, the influential pastor of the megachurch Fellowship Church of Grapevine, Texas, did a “7-day sex challenge” last November in which married couples were challenged to have sex every day for that week as part of the series he was preaching (that’s Young below, and yes, he is preaching from a bed).  And, of course, the press ate it up, as Young made the rounds of national morning shows and even the Stephen Colbert show talking about the challenge. 

Another church, Relevant Church in Ybor City, Florida, did Fellowship Church one better last February, challenging its members to a 30-day sex challenge, complete with daily devotional on how to better love your spouse (inside and outside the bedroom).  Again, the result was controversy, media coverage, and increased church attendance.

And as I have previously written about, there have been churches that have bought billboards to advertise their sex series, created whole websites to promote their series, and sent out mailings to the community.  This past month, a Wisconsin church called Great Lakes Church was actually KICKED OUT of the elementary school in which they met because so many parents complained to the school after receiving fliers from this church promoting their sex series (you can read the Kenosha News account here).  And once again, the results were the same:  controversy, media coverage, and increased church attendance.

What is my point?  A careful survey of the evangelical church landscape would reveal that the quickest way to grow your church is to plan a sermon series on sex, find a provocative way of marketing it, and then say yes to every media request that comes your way.  In the process, you will further alienate and anger some people, while attracting many other people who are curious to hear what you have to say.  And, in the end, your church will grow.

But will God be glorified?

For what it’s worth, I believe that sex is an important part of marriage, that our culture has a warped view of it, and that it is critical to correct harmful teaching from the pulpit with the truth of God’s Word.  However, as I mentioned earlier, sex is only one component among many that contributes to a healthy, God-honoring relationship.  This is why I plan on devoting one week of this seven-week series to discussing the Biblical view on sex and purity, while spending the other weeks discussing all the other aspects that make for a God-honoring relationship.  And that is also why I am fairly confident I would never take the route of preaching a whole sermon series on sex (let alone issuing a sex challenge to my congregation).  Just because marketers have discovered that sex sells does not mean that the church has to place its trust in the idol of sex in the pursuit of another idol, church growth.  

Thoughts?  Comments?  I’d be interested to hear what you have to say.

Last week I wrote about church transfers who leave churches out of dissatisfaction, and the importance of dealing with any unresolved issues before becoming a member of a new church so that the same pattern will not repeat itself.  One common frustration with people who leave churches is the general feeling that nobody cares about them.  They aren’t able to make it to church for three weeks, and nobody calls to see how they are doing.  They ask for prayer for something important happening in their life, and nobody checks in to see how things turned out.  Most churches talk about being a family, but what kind of family forgets to look after a brother or sister who is nowhere to be found for an extended period of time?  What kind of family turns a cold shoulder to a son or daughter going through a difficult time?  For those who expect a church to care for each other as a family, it can be disillusioning and hurtful to experience such neglect.

Our church definitely desires to be a loving family to each other, but our actual track record on this is mixed.  Speaking as the pastor, I know that there are times that I’m great about following up with people who haven’t been coming, but there are other times that I have noticed someone missing and not followed up; or, worse, yet, not even noticed someone has been missing until a month has passed.  As for the rest of our church family, caring for each other is often a very individual effort.  Some people love to send cards and call people, whether it is to encourage them or just to say hi or we’ve missed you, but many of us don’t naturally think of doing such things.  As a result, there will be some in the congregation who see NewLife as a great church family, and others who have never experienced that feeling.

On the one hand, we have to be realistic and realize that while the church is meant to be a family, most families don’t have 75 members!  It is one thing to not realize your only child is missing; quite another thing to not notice when a church member has not been there for three weeks, especially given the likelihood of sickness, travel, or other life interruptions.  But just because a church grows does not excuse the call we have to love one another and care for one another as Christ has loved and cared for us.  With that in mind, here are a couple of suggestions for you.

Firstly, join a small group!  I’ve heard it said at larger churches that those who are not in small groups need to stand in line to be cared for.  That may sound harsh, but as a church grows, small groups become more and more critical as a place where you can know others and be known, where your needs can be expressed and met, and where there will be good friends who will notice when you are not around and ask how you are doing.  Even over the last few weeks at NewLife, as more and more people have come to check out our church, you may be noticing how much harder it becomes to recognize which regulars have not been coming.  At present, we have three small groups:  one in Glastonbury, one in Manchester, and one in Andover.  I can not say enough about the maturity and commitment of our three couples who host and lead small groups – Gordon & Doreen Lawrence, Andy & Holly Hood, and Ben & Gretchen Michaelson.  If your desire is to be part of a group of believers who knows you and cares for you, there is no better place for you to be than in one of our small groups.  And if the nights or locations do not work for you, please let me know, because there is always the potential to form new groups.

Secondly, this Sunday after the morning service, in the room to the south of the sanctuary, we are having a brief meeting that is open to anyone who wants to help our church do a better job of caring for each other.  We do not want to make excuses when people leave our church, but instead we want to recognize that people do not slip through cracks but through fingers.  Our desire is to create a better care net, so that as a body we might encourage and care for those whom God brings our way.  You can hear more about the vision at the meeting on Sunday, but let me give one example:  every week we post a list of prayer needs in our church.  What if once a month, we had a small group of people willing to get together, divide up some of the people on the list, pray for them, and write them notes of encouragement just to let them know that our church is praying for them in their time of need?  The purpose of this group is not to detract from what anyone is doing on their own, but to hopefully find a simple way to help our church better comprehensively care for and encourage those who have needs. 

As in every family, it takes the effort of all members in order to make a group of people actually function like a family who cares for each other.  I would encourage you to find a way of helping our church care for each other, so that we might fulfill the words of our Lord Jesus: “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:34-35).

Is your head spinning yet?

Have you stopped to notice what is going on in our world, especially among emerging generations?  Take a look sometime at the most popular American websites according to Alexa.com.  Listed in the top twenty are myspace.com and facebook.com, two social network sites that exist for the purpose of allowing people to make new friends and keep up with old ones through the creation of personal profiles, the existence of on-line groups that can be joined, and other friend-making avenues.  Another site is wikipedia.com, an on-line encyclopedia that is created collaboratively as people around the world help create the entries for each item.  Other sites in the top twenty include digg.com, flickr.com, and blogger.com, more sites that are very user-driven or community-created.  Thanks to the Internet, anyone in the world can put their innermost thoughts, their family pictures, their most creative videos and anything else they want to out there for all to see.  And, judging by the popularity of these sites, guess what – billions of people are doing just that, and in the process interacting with friends and strangers from all over the world.

It certainly seems that if there’s one thing the emerging generations know how to do, it is connect.  They know how to meet people and develop relationships with all sorts of people.  After all, if you have a myspace profile, it will only be a matter of time before you’ve got a hundred or so friends, if not more (the most popular person on myspace has over 1.6 million “friends” – makes for quite a birthday party).  Throw up a video on youtube, and before the end of the day 500 people will probably have viewed it, and if it’s any good, probably another thousand by the end of the week.  Post your thoughts on blogger, and who knows who might read your thoughts and resonate with your feelings about your latest crush.  Keep it up, and in no time you’ll have more friends than you know what to do with.

Or will you?

This past Sunday, I continued to unveil the mission, vision, and strategy of NewLife as we move forward as a church.  The keyword two Sundays ago was Transform, as I shared our mission of joining God in His mission of transforming lives, transforming our community, and transforming our world.  I am so excited about what our future holds for us as we serve God with this purpose in mind, and I know that although the goal is lofty, it is certainly better than the alternative of wasting our time and our lives going through the motions with God. 

This past Sunday, the keyword was Connect.  I believe that personal transformation happens largely through meaningful relationships – first and foremost to God, and then to other Christians and to those outside of the church.  These transformative relationships can happen through more formal settings such as home fellowships and ministries, or through just being good friends with another believer who knows you and can pray for you and challenge you on your spiritual journey.  Most of us can look back on the spiritual growth that has happened in our lives and point to a spiritual mentor, small group of friends, or disciple of ours who was able to lead us into God’s presence and model His heart of love to us.  I truly believe that as we increase the opportunities we have as a church to connect with God, each other, and those outside the church, we will increase our ability to experience personal transformation and in turn transform our community and world.

Which brings me back to The Evolution of Dance and myspace. 

What drives someone to post a video of themselves dancing on youtube, or to create a profile and try to connect with old friends and make new ones on myspace?  What drives someone to post their thoughts on-line in a blog (which I am doing now, ironically), or to put their picture on-line at flickr? 

I see two core desires behind this booming phenomenon that are worth listening to as we attempt to connect with people of this world and bring the transformative power of the gospel to bear.  The first is a desire for friendship and for community.  With the internet, it is easier than ever to keep in touch with people from our past, and very easy to begin new friendships as well.  In my desire to reconnect with old youth group members, I created a very simple facebook profile, and within a couple of weeks was able to reconnect on a surface level with over fifty people, mainly ex-youth group members.  What at inventive way to continue to maintain a relationship with people whom God has brought into my path at one time or another!  And these on-line social networks offer thousands of groups that you can belong to where you can meet people with common interests.  To some extent, then, with a simple click of the button you can find a hundred over people who love Bruce Lee movies or who really liked the latest All-American Rejects CD.  Friendship and community, all with the click of a mouse.

The second desire I see is the desire to be significant, to know that you matter in this world.  Think about what it takes to be famous, to be considered a person of importance in the eyes of this world.  At one time, in Ancient Greece for example, it was linked to the impact you had on generations that came after you, to whether or not they would remember you for your deeds.  Once the newspaper and television came about over the past few centuries, fame was much more available to anyone who could get themselves in the paper or on TV.  And now, with the proliferation of reality television and now the Internet, you can do just about anything to be famous, from farting “Jingle Bells” and putting it on the internet (I wish I were making this up…) to taking off most of your clothes and posting pictures of yourself on-line.  Fame has become synonymous with public attention, whether or not you have any impact for good through what you have done.

In next week’s blog, I will deal in more detail with the desire for significance.  This week I want to deal with the desire for friendship and community.  As we discuss the phenomenon of on-line social networking, consider these questions:  At the end of the day, after my video has been viewed by two hundred people, and my thoughts and pictures have been perused by twenty more, and five new friends have been added to my network, who have I really connected on a meaningful level with?  Anyone?  Or have I just spent three hours out of my day in superficial contact with more people than I really care about?  Am I really experiencing friendship and community, or just a second-rate substitute?

Who have I been real with?  Even though my blog contains lots of things I might never say to my parents and my pictures may be from events that I wouldn’t show to my teachers, who really knows the real me?  Am I just presenting an image of myself, a virtual persona, a carefully-edited character that I want people (and perhaps even myself) to think is the real me? 

I certainly can not speak for every person who uses social networks and on-line sites such as the aforementioned ones to post their lives for all to see.  Of course some people develop meaningful relationships on-line and use these sites to great benefit.  But I know that there is a danger in believing that because someone is listed as my “friend” on-line that I now have real friends who will pray for me when I’m hurting, challenge me when I’m going the wrong direction, be there for me when I am depressed, and walk with me through the highs and lows of my life.  There is a danger in constructing a virtual, carefully edited character, instead of developing authentic relationships where you are known for who you are, for better or worse, and loved for all of it.  There is a danger in being part of a community that exists for the sole purpose of on-line friendship, self-promotion, and entertainment, instead of a real community that exists to spur one another to be more like Jesus and to find ways collectively to bring God’s transformative power to this world. 

This is why our church needs to increase opportunities to connect more with each other, and to invite others to connect in various ways to our fellowship.  The intense, God-given desire for friendship and community will always be there, and is obviously there in great amount in the emerging generations.  And this is part of what our church must be – a community of Christ-like love and acceptance where all are loved and cared for and challenged to become all that God has created them to be, so that our community and world might become all that God desires them to be.  As widespread and simple as these on-line “connection opportunities” are, in the end they are no substitute for the real thing.  With God’s help, may we become the real thing.

How do you explain heaven? How can you possibly sum up what it will be like to live in a place where there is “no more death or mourning or crying or pain,” as the author of Revelation put it (Revelation 21:4)? Even the Biblical writers, men who were surely more familiar with God than we are, struggled to put the overwhelming bliss of heaven into human terms – “no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him” (1 Corinthians 2:9). The best they could do was to compare heaven to the richest and most joyful experiences we have on this earth. They described the infrastructure of heaven by appealing to precious metals – gates made of pearls, and streets made of pure gold (Rev 21:21). They tried to capture the joy and pleasure of heaven by comparing it to a great feast, a wedding banquet. Those of us who love to eat good food can only imagine the delights of dining for eternity on exquisite cuisine (without ever gaining a pound, of course!). But most memorably, heaven is captured in the Bible by likening it to a wedding.

The young man strains his eyes, but can not catch a glimpse of his bride’s face just yet through the buggy. He can see her white dress, however, and he catches his breath as he realizes that the moment is finally here. All of the trials, the hopes, the stress, the anticipation, the work, the preparation – it is all behind them now, and his dreams are less than fifty yards away, seated in white carriage beside her father.

I had the distinct pleasure of being a part of the wedding of Mike McCoy and Sarah Schultz this past weekend. Certainly, of all the facets of a pastor’s job, this has to be one of the most exciting and rewarding. Over the years, I will hopefully have a front row seat to the most important day in the lives of many people. And the pleasure is heightened by knowing that I have been able to spend weeks in premarital counseling with them, helping prepare them as best I can for the adventure known as marriage (sort of like preparing them to live in a foreign land, of course – they won’t really understand until they get there… and will probably need years to adjust to the new way of life). Watching the faces of a bride and groom as they face each other and speak their vows from the depths of their hearts into the souls of their partner is an indescribable experience.

There are some moments in life that one just needs to feel and doesn’t necessarily need to think about. There are moments when being present is what really matters, not thinking about what was or what will be, but just listening, watching, and opening one’s heart. This was one of those moments. She stepped out of her buggy, casting a glance and a smile in his direction, before the wedding coordinator veiled her face. She took her father’s arm as the violin began to play, and the young man felt more alive then he had ever thought was possible.

The Bible tells us that those who have been known, loved, and saved by Jesus will live forever with their Lord in what is called “the new heavens and the new earth” (Rev 21:1). And the author of Revelation tries to convey this introduction by comparing it to the moment when a bride is brought before her husband – “I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband” (Rev 21:2). Think of the amount of time a woman spends getting ready on her day off – fixing her hair, doing her makeup, making herself presentable to the world. Think about how long it takes her to get ready for work, when her appearance usually matters a little more. Now think about how long it takes your average bride to prepare for her wedding. Between the nails, the hair, the undergarments, the veil, and of course, the dress (not to mention their weight, their tan, and other body features), the average bride probably puts in at least twenty hours (if not much more) making sure that she will look her absolute best on that day.

As her father leads her slowly along the winding path towards him, he could only catch glimpses of her through the crowd. And then, she rounds the corner and begins walking the remaining ten feet towards him. Through her veil he can see her eyes, full of an intimacy he has never seen before. There are over one hundred people in that place today, with family members who have known her longer than even he has, but that means nothing today. He looks in her eyes, and he knows her, and she knows him. In some mystical way, she is becoming part of him, and he is a part of her, and there is no one else in that place who could ever know her and love her as he does.

Paul, the writer of Ephesians, tells husbands that they are to love their wives as Christ loved the church. He goes on to describe this love as something that gives himself up for the other person to make her holy, cleansing her so that she might be radiant, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless (Eph 5:25-27). This verse is staggering in its beauty and its challenge, that somehow a husband’s love has the capacity to remove sin, to destroy pain, to cause his wife to radiate purity and perfection. But Paul is also clear that he is mainly talking about Christ and the church in this passage. It may take a bride upwards of twenty hours to prepare herself for her big day, but this passage makes it clear that our entire Christian lives are a process of preparation and purification for the big day, as Jesus gets us ready to meet him.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here together today in the presence of God…” In some ways, it felt like those were the last words the young man could remember hearing. He stood there, captivated by his bride, again fully present to the reality before him, fully alive. “Who gives this woman to be married to this man?” And then the veil was lifted, her hand was joined to his, and they stood together as one. In the final chapter of the Bible, tucked away amidst the descriptions of the new heavens and the new earth, are five words that would have astonished any first-century reader of the Bible. They are five words that, prior to that moment, would have caused certain death for anyone who experienced its reality, but in these new heavens and new earth would now mean extravagant life. “They will see His face.” They will see God’s face. The church, the believers, purified and prepared as beautifully as a bride for her husband, will have the veil lifted and will see the very face of God. Throughout the Bible, many writers express their desire to see the face of God, to know Him intimately (Psalm 27:8 & Psalm 80 are just two examples). But even with Moses, God was very clear – “No one may see my face and live” (Exodus 33:20). There’s a reason people in the Bible always seem to fall down whenever God appears, or even one of His angels – his beauty, his holiness, is too much for sinful man.