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What happens when one sinner marries another sinner?  If you believe most of our culture, the answer would be that they live happily ever after.  But the answer, of course , is that one sinner plus another sinner equals two sinners.  If you take one person’s baggage and failings and add to that the baggage and issues and sins of another person, there are going to be even more issues in marriage.  Marriage brings up all the issues that you never knew existed.  One of the central aspects of marriage, therefore, is to learn how to handle conflict, so that your fights and disagreements might lead to greater understanding and love.  This morning, I want to talk about conflict and forgiveness, in the hopes that God might give us wisdom on how to allow our conflicts to deepen our intimacy.

We are in Week 5 of our look at the Song of Solomon.  Next week will be the last week as we look at chapter 8 and wrap up.  Let’s begin with chapter 5, verse 2:

² I slept but my heart was awake. Listen! My lover is knocking: "Open to me, my sister, my darling, my dove, my flawless one. My head is drenched with dew, my hair with the dampness of the night."  ³ I have taken off my robe-- must I put it on again? I have washed my feet-- must I soil them again?

“I slept but my heart was awake” is another way of saying she is dreaming.  It seems most likely that she is having a dream, a recurring nightmare reflecting what is going on in her heart.  At this time historically, husbands and wives sleep in separate rooms.  Her husband wants to come in to her late at night, and even though he uses his best lines but can’t get in.  It’s late, and she’s already in bed, and she replies that she doesn’t want to put on her robe again or get her feet dirty.  Pretty lame excuses, but the point is that he wants to be with her and she says no.   

 ⁴ My lover thrust his hand through the latch-opening; my heart began to pound for him.  ⁵ I arose to open for my lover, and my hands dripped with myrrh, my fingers with flowing myrrh, on the handles of the lock.  ⁶ I opened for my lover, but my lover had left; he was gone. My heart sank at his departure. I looked for him but did not find him. I called him but he did not answer.

She denies him, but as he tries to get in one last time she finds herself desiring him again, and changes her mind.  But when she gets up to go find him, he has already left.

 ⁷ The watchmen found me as they made their rounds in the city. They beat me, they bruised me; they took away my cloak, those watchmen of the walls!

So she goes out looking for him, and gets beaten and bruised.

 ⁸ O daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you-- if you find my lover, what will you tell him? Tell him I am faint with love. ⁹ How is your beloved better than others, most beautiful of women? How is your beloved better than others, that you charge us so?  ¹⁰ My lover is radiant and ruddy, outstanding among ten thousand.  ¹¹ His head is purest gold; his hair is wavy and black as a raven.  ¹² His eyes are like doves by the water streams, washed in milk, mounted like jewels.  ¹³ His cheeks are like beds of spice yielding perfume. His lips are like lilies dripping with myrrh.  ¹⁴ His arms are rods of gold set with chrysolite. His body is like polished ivory decorated with sapphires.  ¹⁵ His legs are pillars of marble set on bases of pure gold. His appearance is like Lebanon, choice as its cedars.  ¹⁶ His mouth is sweetness itself; he is altogether lovely. This is my lover, this my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem.    ^NIV Song of Solomon 6:1 Where has your lover gone, most beautiful of women? Which way did your lover turn, that we may look for him with you?

Her friends ask her why she has rejected him, and she tells them all the great things about her husband.  The friends respond by saying that they will look for him with her.

In this simple passage, we see a man who wants to be with his wife, and a wife who rejects her husband.  Even in this beautiful, poetic book, it isn’t long before conflict sets in.