You Shouldn't Be Here
The Life of Paul 1.0 
Acts 9 
by Eric Stillman
November 5th, 2006

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I shouldn’t be here.  If you had asked the 18 year old Eric Stillman about his chances of ending up as the pastor of a church, I’m sure he would have laughed at you.  Back when the things I was most concerned about were getting good grades, scoring goals on the soccer field and girls, I did not give much thought to God, and certainly was not considering the ministry as a profession.  There really is no good earthly reason why someone like me would end up here today. 

You see, in high school, I was the kid who had everything.  If there was ever someone who did not need God, it was me.  In my senior year English class, our teacher had us give “word gifts” to each other at the end of the year as a way of expressing our affection for each other.  My friend Mike wrote me one that said, “Eric, I wish you a smart brain and athletic ability.  No wait, you already have that.  Okay, I wish you a full scholarship to the college of your choice.  Nope – you’ve got that too.  Okay… I wish you a beautiful and smart girlfriend who adores you.  No – you’ve got that one too.  Well, for the man who has everything, I wish you an episode of the Simpsons, every night of the week.”  And wouldn’t you know it – that summer the Simpsons went into syndication, running on Fox every night of the week.  Like I said, I was the kid who had everything.  If anyone had no need for God, it was me.

I grew up believing that God was a remote being up in heaven, a sort of Mr. Rogers in the sky who wanted me to be nice to my neighbors, and that all that mattered to him was that I would be a good person.  And, since I was a good kid, I never worried much about God.  The summer after my senior year of high school, however, everything changed.  Three college kids came back to South Windsor for the summer and decided to run a youth group for the summer and invited everyone they knew.  They invited my girlfriend, and she invited me.  I don’t remember anything that was taught at that group, but I remember knowing that there was something real there, something that was unexplainable and different than anything else I had experienced.  I was beginning to realize that it was possible to actually have a relationship with God.