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We’re reading through the book of Proverbs this summer, looking at the subject of wisdom and what it takes to become a person of wisdom. One thing we have seen over the past few weeks is that there are often deep currents within you that you may not be aware of that cause you to act foolishly. There are deep recesses of pride, anger, lust, self-control issues, and others that prevent you from acting wisely. This morning we’ll talk about one of those issues that can be especially subtle and many times we are not aware of how it affects wise living, and that is envy. Consider these two passages:
Proverbs 14:30 A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.
Proverbs 23:17-18 Do not let your heart envy sinners, but always be zealous for the fear of the LORD. 18 There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off.
This morning I want to talk about what envy is, how it affects us, and how to deal with it.
What is envy and where does it show itself?
To envy someone is to wish you had someone else’s life or the aspects of someone’s life – it is noticing something that is good about someone else, but instead of rejoicing over the good they have, you weep over the fact that you don’t have it. For example:
· Someone shares with you how great their marriage is and you resent them for it and hate your husband all the more because your marriage is not like theirs · Someone else gets a promotion at work, or you see someone more successful than you in their field, and you hope they fail at it · You see someone good looking and you say to yourself “well, they’re probably really shallow and stupid.” · You see someone blessed with a loving family or having gotten all the breaks in life, and you hate them for it.
Envy is noticing something that is good about someone else’s life, but instead of rejoicing over the good they have and being happy for them, you weep over the fact that you don’t have it, and you begrudge them their happiness.
A person with a healthy outlook on life sees someone who is more successful and celebrates with them, praises them for their skill, and learns from them what they can. There is nothing wrong with noticing someone else’s strong marriage or job skills and praising God for that and learning from that example. But a person affected by envy sees someone else’s strong marriage or job success and resents them for it and finds himself wanting them to fail. The person affected by envy feels worse about his own life because of the good he sees in others.
Envy is being unhappy at other’s happiness, weeping when they rejoice. And it is also rejoicing when they weep, becoming happy at their unhappiness.
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